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February 06, 2019

Joke: Husband Tells Wife He Has One Day to Live

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One day, a man found out that he had less than a day to live after a doctor's visit. He does his best to spend his time wisely but his wife can only help so much. 

When an elderly man got home from his doctor's appointment, he told his wife the devastating news. He is ill and has only 24 hours remaining to live. 

The wife cries and her husband comforts her. He also makes a request: that they make love since they have so little time together life. 

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Of course, the man's wife agrees and they enjoy passionate intimacy. Six hours later, the man wants to do it again. 

He asked:

"My love, it's down to 18 hours now until I die. Do you think we could make love again." 

Again, the couple makes passionate love before going on with the day. When night time arrives, the man realizes he is down to eight hours left to live. 

He taps his wife's shoulders and says, "Sweetheart, please? Just once more before I go?" She obliges and they make love. Then the wife goes to sleep.

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Her husband stays awake, unable to rest knowing what is to come. He hears a clock ticking in his head that has him tossing and turning.

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When four hours remain, he gently shakes his wife awake. "My dear, I have just for hours left! Maybe we can...?" 

With that, the man's wife bolts upright and looks at him. She says: 

"Listen here cause I'm not joking. I have to wake up and go to work in the morning and you don't!" 

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The two went back to sleep. 

It's sometimes hilarious how relatives are the ones who speak to us in the bluntest manner. 

In another instance, it was a woman who got diagnosed with cancer and shared the distressing news with her daughter. 

She said: 

“We women celebrate every news, whether good or bad. I hate to break it to you, but I have cancer. So, I want us to go to the club and have a martini.”

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The pair went out and had some martinis. Then some of the mother's friends walked over and asked what the celebration was for. 

The woman, completely serious, said: 

“I’ve just been diagnosed with AIDS.”

Her friends were shocked but offered their condolences. The daughter was also confused. She asked, " Mom, why did you tell them you have AIDS?”

The woman turned to her daughter. “Because I don’t want any of them sleeping with your father after I’m gone.”

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