February 21, 2019
If you need some cheering up this week, we've got the perfect jokes to bring a smile to face.
This week we take a look at two farmers who ended up in a predicament. Both relied on their wits and their quick-thinking had us in stitches.
A senior man had owned a farm for several years. He had a large pond in the back, and it was properly shaped for swimming.
The farmer fixed it up nice with picnic tables, horseshoe courts, and some apple and peach trees and invited his neighbors to use it whenever they wished.
One evening, the old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn’t been there for a while, and look it over.
He grabbed a bucket to bring back some fruit. As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee.
As he came closer, he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his pond. He made the women aware of his presence, and they all went to the deep end.
One of the women shouted to him, “We’re not coming out until you leave!” The old man pondered the situation, frowned, and said:
“I didn’t come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out of the pond naked.”
Holding the bucket up, he said, “I’m here to feed the crocodiles!”
Via: Starts at 60.
A farmer was in an accident with a trucking company and decided his injuries were serious enough to take the company to court.
In court, the trucking company’s lawyer was questioning the farmer and asked, “Didn’t you say at the scene of the accident, ‘I’m fine’?”
The farmer responded, “Well let me tell you what happened. I had just loaded my favorite mule into the…”
The lawyer interrupted him, saying that he didn't ask for any details. He just wanted the injured farmer to answer one question:
"Did you or did you not say, at the scene of the accident, ‘I’m fine’?”
The farmer said, “Well I had just got my mule into the trailer, and I was driving down the road…”
The lawyer interrupted again and said:
“Judge, I am trying to establish the fact that this man told the police officer on the scene that he was just fine. Now, several weeks after the accident he is trying to sue my client. I believe he is a fraud. Please tell him to simply answer the question.”
By this time the Judge was fairly interested in the farmer’s answer and said to the lawyer, “I’d like to hear what he has to say about his favorite mule.”
Joe thanked the Judge and proceeded, “Well, as I was saying, I had just loaded my favorite mule into the trailer and was driving her down the highway when this huge semi-truck ran right into me."
The farmer explained how he was thrown into the one ditch and how his favorite mule was thrown into the other. He continued:
"I could hear my mule moaning and groaning. I knew she was in terrible shape just by her groans. Then the officer came on the scene. He could hear my mule groaning, so he went over to her. All of a sudden I heard a gunshot and then no more moaning. Then the officer came across the road with his gun in his hand and looked at me and said, ‘Your mule was in such bad shape I had to shoot her. How are you feeling?’ What do you think I was going to say?”
Via: Starts at 60.