September 04, 2019
This hilarious story about a woman and her quest for weight loss will make your day.
The woman has been on a diet for several weeks. She goes to a club each week to monitor and report her weight loss. She has been making great progress until one day when she stood on the weighing scale and showed her first weight gain.
“What happened this week?” the club leader asked, with disappointment in her voice.
“I was going so well, I even hit my halfway mark for my overall goal,” she explained. “I baked a cake for me and my husband to celebrate and only had one small slice with him before going to bed.”
“Well, it couldn’t have just been a small slice of cake!” the club owner said.
Looking down, she said, “Yes, well, then the next day it was just me and the cake all alone. So I had another slice, and another, and another… And eventually, it was all gone.”
The club leader crossed her arms angrily and asked: “What did your husband say when he saw you ate the whole cake?!”
“He never found out,” the woman shrugged. “I just baked another cake then ate half of that as well.”
Did that crack you up? Here’s a bonus joke, this time about an elderly lady wanting more intimate moments with her husband.
An elderly lady went to the doctor with an interesting problem she wanted some help with.
After her regular check-up, in which everything checked out fine, the lady pulled the doctor to the side and said, “Doctor, I haven’t had sex for years now and I was wondering how I can increase my husband’s sex drive.”
Smiling, the doctor said, “Have you tried to give him Viagra?”
“Doctor, I can’t even get him to take aspirin when he has a headache,” she answered, frowning.
“Well,” the doctor continued, “Let me suggest something. Crush the Viagra into a powder. When you are giving him coffee, stir it into the coffee and serve it. He won’t notice a thing.”
Delighted, the old lady left the doctor’s office quickly, ready to follow his advice. Weeks later, she returned with a disappointed face. The doctor asked her what the matter was. She simply shook her head at him.
“How did it go?” he asked.
“Terrible, doctor, terrible,” she replied.
“Did it not work?” he asked, worried that he had given her the wrong advice.
“Oh yes,” the old lady said, ”It worked. I did as you said and he got up and ripped his clothes off right then and there and we made mad love on the table. It was the best sex that I’d had in 25 years.”
Confused, the doctor had to inquire further. “Then what is the problem, ma’am?”
“Well,” she said. “I can’t ever show my face in McDonald’s again."
Share this with your friends to make your day!
Source: Starts at 60