September 05, 2019
Bartenders often share the best stories of situations that happen while on the job. A customer who has had a few too many drinks can make a lot peoples day. Enjoy a few bartender jokes.
One night, a drunk comes stumbling into a bar and says to the bartender: "Drinks for all on me including you, bartender."
So the bartender follows the man’s orders and says: "That will be $36.50 please."
The drunk says he has no money so the bartender slaps him around and throws him out.
The next night the same drunk comes in again and orders a drink for everyone in the bar including the bartender.
Again the bartender follows instructions and again the drunk says he has no money.
So the bartender slaps him around and throws him out.
On the third night he comes in, the drunk orders drinks for all except the bartender.
"What, no drink for me?" replies the bartender.
"Oh, no. You get violent when you drink."
A guy rushes into a bar, orders four expensive 30-year-old single malts and has the bartender line them up in front of him.
Then without pausing, he quickly downs each one. "Whew," the bartender remarked, "you seem to be in a hurry."
"You would be too if you had what I have."
"What do you have?" the bartender sympathetically asked.
When your wife sends you for groceries you must get it right.
A fellow came into a bar and ordered a martini. Before drinking it, he removed the olive and carefully put it into a glass jar.
Then he ordered another martini and did the same thing. After an hour, when he was full of martinis and the jar was full of olives, he staggered out.
"Well," said a customer, "I never saw anything as peculiar as that!"
"What's so peculiar about it?" The bartender said. "His wife sent him out for a jar of olives."
A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender to recommend a good drink. The bartender says that their grasshoppers are very good, so the man orders one. Then he has another couple.
On the way home he notices a grasshopper on the ground. He says to the grasshopper, "do you know that there is a drink named after you?"
The grasshopper looks up at the man and says "do you mean they have a drink called Irving?"