October 13, 2019
Here’s a joke about nightmares that will make you laugh your heart out.
A young man decides to see a psychiatrist because of his recurring nightmares.
“Doc,” said the young man lying on the couch, “you’ve got to help me! Every night I have the same horrible dream. I’m lying in bed when all of a sudden five women rush in and start tearing off my clothes.”
Person lying on bed | Photo: Pexels
The psychiatrist nodded then asked, “And what do you do?”
“I push them away!”
“I see. And what can I do to help you with this?”
The patient implored, “Please… Break my arms!”
Depressed man talking to a psychiatrist | Photo: Freepik
Hilarious! Here’s another related joke about terrible dreams.
A man went into a psychiatrist’s clinic complaining about having bad dreams every night.
The psychiatrist asked him, “What are these nightmares about?”
“Well,” says the man, “I’m standing in front of a door with a sign on it, I keep pushing and pushing but the door just won’t open!”
“Interesting. And what does the sign say?”
Man sitting on bench | Photo: Pexels
Laughed out loud? Here’s a bonus joke, this time about an elderly lady who went to the doctor with an interesting problem.
After her regular check-up, in which everything checked out fine, the lady pulled the doctor to the side and said, “Doctor, I haven’t had sex for years now and I was wondering how I can increase my husband’s sex drive.”
Smiling, the doctor said, “Have you tried to give him Viagra?”
Elderly woman near group of people | Photo: Pexels
“Doctor, I can’t even get him to take aspirin when he has a headache,” she answered, frowning.
“Well,” the doctor continued, “Let me suggest something. Crush the Viagra into a powder. When you are giving him coffee, stir it into the coffee and serve it. He won’t notice a thing.”
Delighted, the old lady left the doctor’s office quickly, ready to follow his advice.
Weeks later, she returned with a disappointed face.
The doctor asked her what the matter was. She simply shook her head at him.
Doctor carrying stethoscope | Photo: Pexels
“How did it go?” he asked.
“Terrible, doctor, terrible,” she replied.
“Did it not work?” he asked, worried that he had given her the wrong advice.
“Oh yes,” the old lady said, ”It worked. I did as you said and he got up and ripped his clothes off right then and there and we made mad love on the table. It was the best sex that I’d had in 25 years.”
Man taking medicine pills | Photo: Freepik
Confused, the doctor had to enquire further. “Then what is the problem, ma’am?”
“Well,” she said. “I can’t ever show my face in McDonald’s again."
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