Sometimes the struggle gets so real that we have to resort to playing tricks on ourselves in order to get some form of solace, and the man in this funny story really found an original way to do this.
Physical pain was something easy to deal with for this troubled man, but his emotional life and practical problems were much more complicated and he saw no end to them, so he devised a very curious routine.
One day, he ran into a sales clerk with enough courage to ask him about his strange custom, and he replied with a tragicomical admission.
It starts with the aforementioned man of constant sorrow entering a shoe store and asking the salesman to bring him a pair of size eight shoes.
Being an experimented shoe seller, the salesman could easily tell that the customer wasn’t a size eight, and he tried to save him some trouble by sharing his thoughts with the man.
-“But, sir, I can see from up here you’re at least a size 11,” said the salesman.
-“Just bring me a size eight shoe,” was all that the puzzled sales clerk received as a response.
After a small pause, the salesman insisted in trying to put some common sense in the conversation, asking, “Sir, why must you have these undersized shoes?” And this was the man’s shocking answer:
“I lost my business and my house, I live with my mother-in-law, my wife is having an affair with my best friend and my daughter is pregnant. The only pleasure I have in life is taking off these damn shoes.”
(via Stars at 60)
This other man was returning home after being away on business and wanted to have a little detail with his wife by buying her a gift. The problem is that he wanted to spend as little as possible on it.
With this in mind, the husband approached the counter of a cosmetics store to ask the sales lady about a perfume for his wife.
The lady disappeared for a few seconds into the store and returned with a $50 dollar bottle of perfume that could make a good gift to take home.“That’s a bit much,” said the man after giving it a brief thought, and the sales clerk found him another option at $30. “That’s still quite a bit,” the man said.
Seeing what kind of man this customer was, the sales lady started to grow impatient, but she took one more try at being a professional, and somehow managed to produce a tiny $15 bottle.
But not even that could satisfy the annoying customer, who insisted. “What I mean is that I’d like to see something really cheap,” said the husband yet again.
Suddenly inspired to teach this man a lesson, the sales lady handed him a mirror.
(via Stars at 60)