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April 05, 2020

Daily Joke: Wife Receives Divorce Letter from Her Husband

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As though the divorce was something that doesn't need a serious conversation, a husband chose to write his wife a letter before leaving her. His letter goes…

Dear Wife,

I'm writing you this letter to disclose to you that I'm leaving you for good. I've been a decent man to you in our seven years of marriage, and I have nothing to show for it.

These most recent two weeks have been intense for me. Your boss informed me that you quit your job today and that was too much to bear any more. 

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A week ago, you returned home and didn't even notice I had a new hairstyle, had cooked your preferred dinner, and wore a new pair of boxers. You ate shortly and went directly to rest after watching all of your cleansers.

You don't tell me you love me anymore; you don't want sex or anything that connects us as a couple.  You may be cheating on me, or you don't love me anymore. Whatever the case, It's over, and I am leaving.

Your EX-Husband

P.S. Don't try to find me. Your sister and I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have an incredible life! 

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And came the wife's splendid answer that taught him a lesson…

Dear Ex-Husband,

Nothing has filled my heart with joy more than getting your letter. You and I have indeed been married for as long as seven years, albeit a decent man is a far cry from what you've been.

I watch my T.V. shows so much since they drown out your consistent whimpering and fussing, in spite of the fact that that doesn't appear to work. 

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I noticed your haircut a week ago, yet the principal thing that struck a chord was, "You look simply like a young lady!" And since my mom raised me not to say anything if you can't say something pleasant, I chose not to comment.

Furthermore, when you prepared my favorite meal, you must have gotten me mistook for my sister because I quit eating pork seven long years ago.

About those new silk boxers: I got some distance from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, and I implored it was a fortuitous event that my sister had recently borrowed $50 from me that morning.

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After all of this, I, despite everything, adored you and felt we could make this work. So when I hit the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my job and got us two tickets to Jamaica. However, you were gone when I returned home.

I guess everything happens for a reason. I hope you have the satisfying life you always wanted. My legal advisor said that the letter you wrote guarantees you won't get a dime from me. So take care.

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Signed, Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell And Free!

P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born Carl. I hope that is not an issue! 

Want to laugh some more? Check out this story of a wife who taught her lazy husband a lesson for refusing to help her.

Source: Bored Daddy

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