April 14, 2020
Sometimes, the reaction of the police is more about their emotion rather than what's fair. For one unlucky biker, he got a slew of tickets that were seemingly uncalled for.
A man entered a supermarket and shopped for about five minutes before heading out. When he left, there was a motorcycle policeman writing a parking ticket.
The man strolled up to the officer and told him, "Come on, pal, how about you give a guy a break?" The policeman totally ignored the man and went on writing the ticket.
The man then called the officer a pencil-necked idiot. The officer glared towards the man and began writing another ticket, this time for worn tires.
Seeing this, the man asked the officer is his psychiatrist forces him to lie face down on the couch due to his ugliness. The officer finished the second ticket and began writing a third.
The two went on like this for twenty minutes, with more tickets getting written up every time the man insulted the officer. The man didn't care though, cause he had parked his car around the corner.
A town was flooding and one man was unlucky in that he was trapped on a fairly short building. He prayed to God to save him from the flood.
While standing on a roof, a boat came his way which wasn't too full. The man on the boat said, "Hey there, the flood is rising fast. Jump inside this boat and you'll be safe."
But the man shook his head and said, "No, once I pray to God he will save me from the flood." The man on the boat rowed away and saved everyone else. The flood reached the man's ankles.
Half an hour later, another boat came along. The man on the boat said, "I think you've been on that roof long enough. You'll drown. Get in my boat and I'll help you."
Yet the man declined, saying, "No, if I keep praying to God long and hard he will save me from this disaster." So the boat left.
Ten minutes later, the man drowned. He went up to heaven and was angry at God. He asked Him: "Why didn't you help me when I prayed to you for so long?"
God replied: "What do you mean? Didn't you see the two boats I sent you?!"
A Drug Enforcement Agency (DEA) officer arrived at a ranch in Texas and came upon the rancher.
The officer told him, "I need to inspect your ranch right now for illegally grown substances."
The rancher says, "Sure, but make sure you avoid going into that field over there," and he points out a location.
The DEA officer immediately gets riled up, saying, "Sir, I am fully back by the authority of the Federal Government."
He reached into the back pocket of his pants and removed his badge, which he boastfully held up for the rancher to see.
"Do you see this badge?" the officer asked. "This badge means I can go wherever I want. On any piece of land. With no questions asked or answers given."
The officer continued on: "Have I made myself clear? Do you understand?"
The rancher nodded politely and apologized. He then continued doing some chores.
A brief while later, the rancher heard loud screams. He looked over and saw the DEA officer running at breakneck speed.
He was being chased by the rancher's large, brown Santa Gertrudis bull. The animal was gaining on the officer, who was terrified.
It clearly looked like the only outcome was that the officer would be gored by the bull. The rancher threw down all his tools and ran to the fence.
There, he cried loudly: "Your badge... show him your badge!"
March 01, 2020