Daily Joke: A Local Drunk Is Granted Three Wishes

Alcohol abuse can make people do very stupid things that they would regret all their lives if they only could remember what they did, and this is exactly what happened to the star of the following joke.

There was once a local drunk that got lucky beyond his wildest dreams as he walked along the beach one day, but chances are that he never realized the opportunity that life gave him, only for him to waste it.

As we just said, the local drunk was walking along the beach when he discovered a curious bottle sitting in the sand. The intoxicated man instinctively picked up the bottle and went on to brush it off, prompting a genie to pop out of it.

As genies are naturally obliged to do when someone awakens them from their deep sleep, the genie in this story let the local drunk know that he was willing to grant him three wishes for having freed him.

Not sober enough to think on a bigger, more ambitious scale, all that the drunken man could think of as a first wish was wishing for a pint of stout to fulfill his insatiable thirst.

In less than a second, the genie had worked his magic to produce a pint of stout right in the man’s hand. Almost as quickly, the man drank it and threw the glass away.

Upon seeing this, the genie advised the man to take another look at the glass he was so quick to dispose, which made the man come to notice that the glass was magically filled up with stout again.

With that out of the way, the genie thought, the man was now going to be able to think of two more transcendent wishes. “What other two wishes can I grant for you?” the genie went on to ask, to which he drunk replied:

“I’ll be taking two more of these, thanks.”

A MAN IS STOPPED BY THE POLICE

The following joke, also brought to you from Stars at 60, features a wandering man as well, this time an elderly man that ran into the police in the streets late at night, prompting the officers to stop him.

Asked about where he was going, the elderly man replied that he was on his way to a lecture about alcohol abuse and the effects it has on the human body, as well as smoking and staying out late.

Surprised by the man’s elaborate answer, but at the same time baffled, given that it was so late in the night, the officer went on to ask the elderly man who was going to give such a lecture at that time, to which the man sincerely replied:

“That would be my wife.”

If you liked these two ingenious and funny jokes, and you are still in need of another laugh to help you go through the day and to share with your friends and loved ones, click here to read this one about a woman that got called for jury duty.