Daily Joke: Statistics Student Always Drives Fast through Intersections

A student of statistics hated driving slowly when he got to any junction. He would often drive past it speedily before slowing down. One day, his passenger became bothered about his driving style.

There was once a statistics student who loved showing off his skills when driving his car. He would accelerate hard before coming to an intersection, whizz straight over it, and reduce his speed once he gets past it.

Photo: Shutterstock

Photo: Shutterstock

While driving one evening, one of his passengers who was troubled by his driving style asked him why he went so fast over junctions.

The driver said, "Well, statistically speaking, you are far more likely to have an accident at a junction, so I just make sure that I spend less time there."

Photo of a man reading a document. | Photo: Shutterstock

Photo of a man reading a document. | Photo: Shutterstock

APPLYING FOR A JOB

Three people were applying for the same job. One of them was a mathematician, while the second was a statistician and the third an accountant.

Student taking down notes. | Photo: Pexel

Student taking down notes. | Photo: Pexel

The interviewing committee invited the mathematician into the room and told him they had a single question for him. They asked him, "What is 500 plus 500?" 

Without wasting a second, the mathematician said the answer was 1000. The committee was satisfied with his answer and sent for the statistician. When the statistician got into the room, they gave him the same question. 

A woman hiding her face while seated. | Photo: Shutterstock

A woman hiding her face while seated. | Photo: Shutterstock

After thinking for a while, the statistician then said he was 95% confident that the answer was 1000. The group thanked him for his time and asked him to leave the room. They then called the accountant into the room.

When the accountant got into the room, he was asked the same question, "What is 500 plus 500?"

The accountant replied, "What would you like it to be?"

AIRPORT SECURITY

A statistics professor was traveling to a meeting by plane. When he got past the security check, they found a bomb in his carry-on baggage. He was immediately hauled off for questioning.

The interrogating officer was confused. He could not understand why a successful professor, a caring family man, would want to destroy his life by blowing up an airplane.

A photo of a passenger plane taking off | Photo: Shutterstock

A photo of a passenger plane taking off | Photo: Shutterstock

The professor then interrupted the officer and said he never planned on blowing up the plane. So the officer asked why he had a bomb on the plane.

The professor explained that statistics have it that the probability of a bomb being on an airplane is 1/1000. He remarked that the probability was quite high, and it won't give him any peace of mind on the flight.

The officer then asked what his explanation had to do with a bomb on the plane, and the man replied, "You see, since the probability of one bomb being on my plane is 1/1000, the chance that there are two bombs is 1/1000000." He continued: 

"If I already bring one, the chance of another bomb being around is actually 1/1000000, and I am much safer..."

Did you like this joke? Read about another hilarious joke about a pilot welcoming his passengers on board.

Sources: MrbartonmathsJokes4us

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