Need a good laugh? These jokes will have you rolling on the floor laughing about a few hilarious situations that took place at an insane asylum.
THE GREAT ESCAPE
Two men were trying to escape an asylum. One of them stole keys from the guard during the day. Then that evening, the first man snuck out of his room and fetched the other.
The two snuck through the building and crept past the guards. Eventually, they made it to the roof of the asylum. They realized they would have to jump from the roof to the perimeter wall to get out.
Hands grabbing a barbed-wire fence. | Photo: Pixabay/Gerd Altmann
The men peered over the roof and looked at the gap between the perimeter wall and the building. One of the men said, “I’m not sure, man. The gap is too big. If we jump, we will fall between the building and the wall.”
The second man thought about their situation for a second. All they had was a flashlight. He then thought of a brilliant idea and said, “Hey, I will shine the flashlight to the wall, and then you can walk across on the light.”
The second man started to laugh, “Do you think I'm stupid or something? You are just going to switch the light off when I get halfway!”
A MATH QUESTION
A nurse got a job at an insane asylum. He attended an orientation where he went on a tour of the building and was shown what the job would entitle. During the orientation, the director asked if he had any questions.
The nurse asked, “Well, how do you know if a patient is ready to leave the asylum?”
The director answered, “Well, that’s easy. We ask them a math question, and their answer will determine if they can leave or not.”
So to demonstrate, the director called up three patients and asked, “What is 6 times 6?” The first patient yelled out, “1000!” The director said, “This patient will need to stay for another 6 months!”
A second patient yelled out, “March!” The director responded, “Oh no, that is very wrong. This patient will have to stay for another year.” Everyone then turned to look at the third patient.
The third patient scratched his head and said, “Hmm, 36!” The nurse then said, “Wow, how did you work that out?” The patient then said, “It was easy. I divided 1000 by March.”
A man was walking past an insane asylum when he heard a distant noise. So he paused to listen and noticed that the noise was coming from people chanting a number from over the asylum fence.
He listened closer and heard them excitedly chanting, “Thirteen, thirteen, thirteen, thirteen….” The man was inquisitive about what was going on, so he continued to walk along the fence and listen to the chanting.
Eventually, he found a small hole in the fence and looked through to see what the people were doing. As he put his eye to the hole, one poked their finger through and poked his eye.
The man immediately grabbed his eye, and yelled “Ouch!” Then the chanting started again, “Fourteen, fourteen, fourteen, fourteen.”