Daily Joke: Housekeeper Says She's Better Than Her Homeowner

Today's jokes are about a housekeeper who asked the homeowner for a pay raise in the most unusual way and a young man who keeps making excuses to ask his father for money. 

A housekeeper went straight to her homeowner and asked for a raise in her salary. The lady of the house was shocked to hear her demand and proceeded to ask her why she deserved a raise. 

Photo: Shutterstock

Photo: Shutterstock

"Three reasons: Because I'm a better cook than you are," replied the housekeeper. 

"Who told you that?" asked the wealthy homeowner, surprised at the maid's response. 

"Your husband. And I'm also better at cleaning," stated the housekeeper, matter-of-factly. 

The house lady was once again baffled by the housekeeper's answer and said: "Who told you that?"

A housekeeper standing beside the bed. | Photo: Pexels/cottonbro

A housekeeper standing beside the bed. | Photo: Pexels/cottonbro

"Also your husband," replied the housekeeper. 

By now, the house lady had become accustomed to the maid's blunt replies, so she continued: "And the third reason why you think I should give you a raise?" 

"Because I'm a LOT better in bed than you," added the housekeeper. 

The wealthy homeowner knew where the conversation was headed, so she addressed the housekeeper once again, "Hmmm....did my husband tell you that, too?"

"No, ma'am.....the gardener," replied the housekeeper.  

A YOUNG MAN KEEPS ASKING HIS FATHER FOR MONEY 

A young man named Brad was in his freshman year at university. He spent a lot of time partying and paying for his buddies. It so happened that he ran out of cash and didn't know how to fix his financial situation. 

Brad knew that if his father found out about his wastefulness, he would be furious. So he came up with a plan and told his father that his professor could teach their dog how to read and write at a negotiable price.

His father was amazed at how advanced the university had become, and eventually, he agreed to avail the opportunity. Brad received the dog and money in a few days, but he spent all of the cash again. 

Once again, Brad contacted his father and told him that another professor at his university could teach the dog to talk to people at a bargain price. Soon afterward, Brad received more money from his father. 

At the same time, Brad's father started bragging to his friends and family that his dog could read, write, and converse with people. He further added that the dog would soon arrive alongside his son, Brad. 

Soon, the entire town was filled with the talk of the dog who could read, write and talk to people. As soon as the school year concluded, many people flocked to welcome Brad and the special dog at the train station. 

Brad's father was also present to receive his son, but there was no sign of Brad or his dog. Eventually, he looked at the caboose and saw Brad getting off the train, with sagged shoulders and a pale face. 

The father quickly ran to his son and inquired about the dog. As soon as Brad heard what his father was saying, he started whining and narrated the entire story:

"While we were riding the train back home, the dog put down the newspaper he was reading and said, "Brad, I'm so glad I can speak. Because now I want to tell your mother what I saw your father and the housekeeper doing when she wasn't around."

Carefully reading his father's expressions, Brad continued: "I got so angry...I grabbed that dog by the neck and threw it off the train. We must have been going 100. There's no way it could have survived." 

What happened next was something Brad could have never anticipated. His father grabbed him by the shoulders, looked into his eyes, and said: "Son, are you sure that lying dog is dead?" 

Enjoyed reading the jokes? Share them with your friends and family, and keep laughing some more as you go through our selection of light summer jokes. 

Sources: Reddit, Upjoke 

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