Daily Joke: Truthful Descriptions of Well-Known Professions

Knowing the details of different careers can be so confusing! So here is a list of jobs and descriptions of what they actually entail!

Accountant - Someone who knows the cost of everything but the value of nothing.

Auditor - Someone who arrives after the battle and stabs all of the wounded soldiers.

Banker - The person who will lend you his umbrella when the sun is shining but will immediately take it back when the rain starts to fall.

Economist - A very smart expert who will know only tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday did not happen today!

Statistician - A statistician is similar to an accountant because both are good with numbers, but the statistician lacks the personality to be an accountant.

Actuary - Now, an actuary is someone who brings a fake bomb on a plane because that would decrease the chance of another bomb on the plane.

Programmer - A programmer will solve a problem you did not even know you had in a way you will never understand.

Mathematician - A mathematician is like a blind man in a dark room, looking for a black cat that isn't there because they are always searching for something impossible.

Lawyer - A person who writes a 10,000-word document and calls it a "brief."

Psychologist - A psychologist is a man who watches everyone else when a beautiful girl enters the room.

Schoolteacher - Well, now a teacher is someone who likes children and is a royal babysitter.

Consultant - A consultant is a person who takes the watch off your wrist and tells you the time because whatever they do, you could have done it yourself.

Diplomat - Someone who can tell you to visit a place you never wanted to go and make it sound like the most exciting and amazing trip ever.

That sure clears things up! If you need more clarification, check out the joke below about a journalist who wanted to know how different professions answered a question!

A CURIOUS JOURNALIST

One day a journalist wanted to find out how different professionals would answer a math question. So he gathered a few professionals and asked them, "So what is 1 plus 1?"

The mechanical engineer quickly pulled out his instructional manual and said, "Okay, the manual says 2, but let's say 3 just in case!"

The physicist furiously scribbled in his notebook for several minutes and then said, "Okay, I've worked out that the answer falls somewhere between 1.98 and 2.01."

The mathematician started writing out many formulas, and after half an hour, he announced, "Okay, I have figured out that the equation can be solved!"

The lawyer took the journalist to the side and whispered, "How much do you want it to be?"

If those jokes made you laugh, why not share the fun with a friend or family member? Otherwise, if you want another joke, check out this one about a journalist who saw a pig and wanted to know more!

Sources: Smilezilla and Upjoke.