I Flatly Refused to Let My Parents Come To My Wedding, and It Was the Right Decision — Story of the Day
I had good reason not to invite my parents to my wedding. I knew they would be upset, but I never expected them to go crazy.
I came out to my parents when I was 17 years old, and they kicked me out of the house, and I had nowhere to go. Luckily, one of my friends, Fiona, offered to let me stay with her until I got on my feet. I got a job and paid for my college on my own.
In my early 20s, they reached out, wanting to apologize and reconcile. I met them warily and started to rebuild something. But I never told them about my love life. Abby and I met when I was 24. We started dating almost right away.
But my mother didn’t know and kept asking me to meet some of her friends’ sons. “Holly, you’re such a girly girl. You could attract any man. I don’t know why you choose to be alone,” she said during one phone call.
“Mom, I’m in a relationship, and you know why I don’t talk about it with you guys. I want to keep the peace,” I replied.
“Oh, that silly thing. That’s just a phase. Soon, you’ll meet the man of your dreams and get over it,” Mom continued. There was just no talking to her, so I said goodbye and hung up. I went low contact and made up excuses.
But Abby and I were doing amazingly. We got engaged after five years together and started planning the wedding. “Are you going to invite your parents?” she asked me.
“I don’t know…I wish my parents were like yours. Maybe your mom should walk me down the aisle. You know how my parents will be,” I replied.
“Well, I think you have to tell them you’re engaged, or they’ll be even more dramatic,” Abby added. She was right. I would, at least, try to include them. If they couldn’t accept me after all these years, it was their loss.
It went horribly. “How can you do this to us?! I thought you would grow out of it!” my mom yelled through the phone and started crying. I was on speakerphone with both my parents.
“Holly, this is not right. This is not Godly. You won’t get into heaven if you continue this,” my father said.
“Please, you and Mom got pregnant with me before you got married. You don’t get to play the Bible card on me,” I told them. “Are you going to support my relationship?”
“DON’T TALK BACK TO ME! I am your father, and I know what’s best for you!” he screamed and I heard my mom sobbing.
“Ok. That’s all I wanted to know. You are not invited to my wedding, and I will never speak to you again. Oh, and when Abby and I have children, they will only know one set of grandparents,” I added out of pettiness.
I never expected that they would rally the entire family to harass me on social media and call my house at all hours of the night. They bombarded our phones with scathing messages. My mom even tried to break in one night.
I had already called the cops before finding out it was her. “Officer! Arrest that woman! She has pulled my daughter into sin!” my mother screamed about Abby while being pulled away by the cop. Even the neighbors were concerned.
We filed a restraining order against her, but she changed her strategy. She canceled our wedding caterer and our DJ without our knowledge. We didn’t find out until a day before the wedding. Luckily, we found a backup DJ, and Abby’s family contributed to the food.
We thought that was it, but they actually showed up to the wedding like nothing had happened. I didn’t trust them to behave, so our friends and Abby’s cousins escorted them out while they yelled, kicked, and called us sinners.
“Are you sure you still want to marry me?” I asked Abby after they were gone and we were about to start the ceremony.
“You’re swimming against the current of your crazy family just to marry me. I don’t have to think about it twice. You’re the love of my life!” she said. I smiled because she was mine. The ceremony and the party went great.
I never spoke to my parents again because I knew they would never change. I didn’t tell them when I had twin girls or when Abby had our son.
What can we learn from this story?
- Love is love. Don't let others dictate who you should love. Holly and Abby deserved to celebrate their love. Holly's parents should've stayed away after they were disinvited.
- You could lose your family if you don’t let go of ancient beliefs that don’t make any sense. Holly’s parents didn’t understand that, and their hate drove them to crazy lengths.
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