A Mother Was Upset When She Found Out a Teacher Had Hugged Her 9-Year-Old Son

Rita Kumar
Oct 03, 2021
11:40 P.M.

A mother thought she’d spoiled her nine-year-old son by hugging him, so she gradually weaned him off from jer warm embrace. She later found out he had been getting hugs from his teacher, and it shocked her. The furious mom decided to take matters into her own hands and confronted the teacher.


The science behind hugging suggests there are several benefits. However, one mom wanted to stop hugging her son gradually as she believed he threw tantrums like a child despite being nine years old. Little did she know, his teacher was giving him plenty of hugs when he got to school.

While some people are touchy and always hug you hello, some prefer occasional hugs. Also, others find the displays of affection awkward and uncomfortable. Interestingly, according to experts, hugs make a person feel healthier and happier. But Redditor abcd20000 felt otherwise when she discovered what her son’s teacher did.

Furious mom yells at her son's teacher | Photo: Amomama

Furious mom yells at her son's teacher | Photo: Amomama


According to the mom, her son would always turn to her for a hug if he was slightly upset. As experts put it, hugs are meant to calm a person and are much needed when you’re emotionally drained. However, the mom decided to wean her son off hugs, saying:


“He became so dependent on me, he had trouble controlling his own emotions, to the point he still had tantrums like a toddler (they haven’t fully stopped yet), so I started to wean him off hugs.”

According to a study, hugs stimulate the release of oxytocin. Also, the benefits go both ways as parents and kids both feel better after embracing each other. So, was Reddit mom abcd20000 on the wrong track for gradually saying no to her son’s hug?

Person hugging a kid | Photo: Pexels

Person hugging a kid | Photo: Pexels


The mom of the nine-year-old boy thought reducing the frequent cuddles was crucial to stop him from behaving like a toddler. However, her efforts didn’t help, and it wasn’t until she realized her boy was getting enough hugs from his teacher to fuel his childish behavior. Did she remain mum over it? Not exactly as she explained:


“I recently found out that he had been getting hugs from his teacher. Not only is this really weird, but it’s literally stunting his emotional growth.”

The mom confronted the teacher, but to her dismay, the person lectured her on the importance of why children “need” hugs. However, the Redditor believes that hugging isn’t crucial as most nine-year-old kids don’t have the same emotional issues her son had. But experts disagree.

Boy runs towards a woman to hug her | Photo: Pexels

Boy runs towards a woman to hug her | Photo: Pexels


A person once posted a question on a Quora forum, seeking opinions if parents object teachers from hugging their children. People had different views on the matter. For example, a parent named Rebecca Mikulin mentioned how the teachers in her daughter’s kindergarten had a specific rule where hugs and high-fives were allowed.


“Hugs are calming and healing and are just downright pleasant between people who want them and are comfortable with them. It would be appalling if the teachers were not allowed to offer this basic interaction to their students,” Mikulin wrote.

However, not every parent favored the idea of a teacher hugging their student. For instance, father-of-three Gregg Pettit said he doesn’t mind as long as his kids are comfortable with it. However, he emphasized that if children are uncomfortable with hugs for some reason or no reason at all, it’s best not to force them for a cuddle.

Woman hugging a boy | Photo: Pexels

Woman hugging a boy | Photo: Pexels


As Healthline explains, hugs help reduce stress by showing your support, especially when someone dear to you is struggling emotionally. At times, kids need a small token of comfort when they leave the house for the first time to kindergarten without their parents, claims Quora user Jennifer Dash.


“The school my son currently attends (2nd grade) has a no hugging type policy, I believe, and they discourage the kids from practicing self-space,” the mom of six wrote.

Sometimes, teachers hug their students to comfort them when they’re hurt, sad or distressed. Most parents feel it’s completely okay and see nothing wrong with teachers embracing their kids. For instance, a recent Reddit post made heads turn and amassed a positive response from people and parents.

Reddit user notGhxst posted an adorable video of a teacher playing a game with her students before allowing them into her class. And there were plenty of hugs too! Several users applauded the teacher’s good intention and felt she even respected each other’s boundaries positively:



Children might need comfort in certain unavoidable circumstances. Quora user and mom Jana Hodson took the concept of hugging positively when she noticed the first aid in her daughter’s daycare list. It was mentioned “hugs and an ice pack!”

“I couldn’t help but laughingly ask, “hugs are first aid?” The caregiver’s reply was, “oh yes! That’s the most important part!” Hodson jokingly explained on the forum.

Some teachers realize how important it is to hug their students, especially during challenging moments. As a teacher herself, Jana Hodson is open to the idea of hugging little ones but isn’t sure about hugging middle and higher school students. Beyond the instant soothing feelings provided by a hug, experts say that social touch also offers several long-term benefits to our health.

Mother comforts her son by hugging him | Photo: Pexels

Mother comforts her son by hugging him | Photo: Pexels


Nurturing the sense of touch during the early stages helps regulate emotions. For many teachers, touch becomes an integral part of their teaching career. Some teachers touch their students to either correct their behavior or connect with them, which benefits children in the long run.

For instance, if a student has trouble focusing on a subject, a gentle pat on the shoulder would serve as a reminder to get back to class. Of course, children should never be forced to cuddle or hug when they feel uncomfortable. Sometimes, older children may be more hesitant to snuggle up even with their parents than babies or toddlers.

As some parents emphasized, it’s totally up to the kids to decide whether a hug from their teacher is okay or not. What matters the most is your children’s comfort. Do you think it was right on the Reddit mom’s part for getting annoyed with her son’s teacher over that gentle hug? We’d love to discuss this with you! Thanks for reading!

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