Cheating Wife Got Pregnant and Gave Full Custody to Baby's Dad, Now Wants to Reunite with Child

A woman who cheated on her husband gave up the full custody of her newborn daughter to the father. Ten years later, she helplessly yearns to meet the girl, but fate has other plans.

A 45-year-old mother thought social media would offer her advice on meeting her estranged daughter she’d given up to be raised by the father. But only after going through her entire story did people know the twist of fate in this woman’s disturbing past.

There was hardly a speckle of doubt in Redditor Throwawayymama’s marital life. She and her husband enjoyed their best times together, and everything seemed pristine until she got pregnant. Deep inside, the mom-to-be knew it wasn’t her husband’s baby and feared the negative consequences.

Nearly a decade ago, the Original Poster (OP) was at her friend’s bachelorette party when she chanced upon another man. The two hooked up soon after, and she got pregnant.

OP was aware she’d cheated on her husband but decided to give herself more time to come clean. Eventually, she welcomed a baby girl, but instead of garnering well-wishers, the mom amassed severe backlash from her family and friends.

Even her husband didn’t spare her due to the visible differences between him and the newborn. He was black, whereas the baby was white with blue eyes and blond hair, similar to the man she hooked up with. The mother soon came under fire for cheating on her husband and was asked to make a significant choice.

OP’s husband forgave her, mainly because he wanted her to be a good mother to their 5-year-old twin sons. But he also had one condition. He threatened OP with divorce unless she gave up her newborn baby for adoption.

But she could no longer gather herself after certain friends who lived near her affair partner informed her about him bringing other women.

Despite her guilt over cheating on her husband, the desperate mom was determined not to abandon her baby so she narrowed his demand to a compromise. OP agreed to give full custody of the baby to her birth father, who offered to raise her.

When the formalities were over, the couple moved to a different state to escape their controversial life. Fast forward to ten years and the birth of their daughter, they had worked towards mending their fractured relationship.

However, no matter how hard she tried, OP couldn’t deny that she still wanted to meet her first daughter. To her dismay, her husband constantly refused to allow her to meet the girl.

For years, OP found solace in the occasional updates she’d been getting from her daughter’s friends. OP’s husband never allowed her to chat with her daughter’s biological father directly.

Eventually, the child support payments she paid for the girl began affecting her overall finances due to the prenup her husband insisted on, prohibiting them from combining their finances. When OP brought these issues to her husband, he often put off the conversation by saying her daughter would visit her when she turned 18.

The mom chose not to spoil the peace in her family by discussing her past with her husband. But she could no longer stay calm after certain friends who lived near her daughter informed her about the father bringing other women around her daughter. She doubted such hearsay but worried about the adverse impact on her 10-year-old daughter.

OP thought the online forum on Reddit would help her deal with her issue so she sought advice citing, “I feel trapped….” However, the responses she received didn’t turn out in her favor.

“Honestly, if he found out at birth that the kid wasn’t his, you shouldn’t have even mentioned her. Imagine spending nine months thinking the kid is yours, preparing for it, being so happy...and then BOOM!” Redditor salm82 stated, adding:

“He laid out the ground rules for reconciliation, and you accepted. Leave it at that. Your husband is under no obligation to care for your daughter as well. And if she wants to see you, then she can reach out.”

Most agreed with the user and advised it was unfair on her part to enrage her husband by trying to renegotiate the initial terms they'd agreed upon. Among them was user beyoncelomein, who fired a couple of questions at OP.

“OP, it’s unfortunate a child is involved, but you’re putting it on your husband to have the compassion to give in to you. Hasn’t he done enough? Also, you’re judging the bio dad’s lifestyle, really?” the Redditor wrote.

“Why should your husband, who you cheated on, pay child support for your child that was a product of an affair you had?” questioned another user.

OP didn’t give an update on what she intended to do, and it’s anybody’s guess if she walked the extra mile to meet her estranged daughter or not.

Questions to Ponder:

Does OP deserve to be punished for a mistake she made ten years ago by preventing her from meeting her daughter?

Some people argued that OP deserved to be punished for her past mistake and should wait until her daughter shows up. Others claimed she had agreed to her husband’s condition, so it was unfair to renegotiate his terms. If you were OP’s partner, would you revise the terms and allow the mother to meet her estranged daughter? Or would it be better if you stood your ground and sternly disagreed?

Do you think OP’s daughter would still want to reconcile with her mother after all the bitter things that happened?

Several people advised OP to know her daughter’s perspective before reconciling with her. Moreover, she’d been getting updates of her daughter only through neighbors and friends and not from the girl herself. Considering their communication gap, do you think the girl would be okay with a mother figure suddenly walking into her life?

If you liked reading this story, then you might want to read this one about how an estranged father was kicked out after trying to visit his daughter on her deathbed.

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