Getty Images
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Meet 'Blacklist' Star James Spader's 3 Sons from 2 Women Who Have Been Hidden from Publicity

Titi Dokubo
Apr 06, 2022
09:20 A.M.

James Spader had a long-lasting marriage with his first wife before an irreconcilable breakup because he was working too much. However, they are the co-parents of their then-teenage sons.


Shortly after his first marriage ended, the "Alien Hunter" actor met his new girlfriend on set when they co-starred in a movie, and they welcomed a third child, his youngest son.

The private actor tries to keep his family away from the spotlight. Here are all the details about his family and how he handles fatherhood.

Photo of James Spader on the set of "The Blacklist" [left], James Spader holding a newborn [right] | Source: Getty Images

Photo of James Spader on the set of "The Blacklist" [left], James Spader holding a newborn [right] | Source: Getty Images

James Spader was born to teachers on February 7, 1960, but he dropped out of school in eleventh grade. Before he landed his first roles, he shoveled manure, bused tables, was a janitor at a rehearsal studio, and taught yoga.

In 1981, he starred in his first significant movie role in the romance drama "Endless Love." He graduated to Brat Pack films from television movies, playing the scoundrel.


In 1989, after playing a sexual voyeur in "Sex, Lies, and Videotape," he received the Best Actor award at the Cannes Film Festival. His role and recognition led to more prominent and more varied roles.


The actor, who does not like to watch any of the movies he has appeared in, accepted the role of the sexual voyeur because he was interested in doing that part and never looked at work as a stepping stone.


He has won three Emmy Awards in the Best Actor, Drama category for his role as Alan Shore in "The Practice" and "Boston Legal." He has also received a Golden Globe and many Screen Actor Guild Award Best Actor nominations for the role.

His Emmy wins made the actor with an eidetic memory the first performer to win the Leading Drama Actor Emmy Award for portraying the same character.


Spader once said he had successfully kept a private face on things, even when he was out in public. He does not believe in drawing attention to himself because he's a public figure.

The actor believes that when people have their lives on constant display to the public, even strangers will feel as if they've gotten to know that person through the media, so he tried not to open the door to his private life in a public way.



Despite playing steamy roles in steamy movies, Spader settled down early. The actor met his wife, Victoria Kheel, at a yoga studio shortly after moving to New York in the 1980s.

Kheel is a designer and set director, and they dated for a few years before they were married in 1987. She often traveled with him, either on the road or on location.

James Spader and Victoria Kheel at the premiere of "Stargate" on October 24, 1994 | Source: Getty Images

James Spader and Victoria Kheel at the premiere of "Stargate" on October 24, 1994 | Source: Getty Images

After having two sons, they started acting like uncontrollable teenagers. Spader was never like some other actors who had real-life, bad-boy exploits.

He left those behaviors for the big screen. Indulging in life with his wife was more important as he was safe and secure with his wife and children. However, in December 2003, he filed for divorce.



Two years after their marriage, Spader and Kheel welcomed their first son Sebastian. He is a producer and director known for "Slice," "Machete," and "First Kiss with Rachael Leigh Cook & Chad Michael Murray."

Sebastian has experience with a luxury real estate brokerage and lifestyle company with clients ranging from residential, resort real estate, new development, luxury vacation rentals, and residential leasing.


Their second son Elijah was born in 1992 and is a mix engineer and guitarist who graduated with a degree in audio production from the Los Angeles Film School for Audio Production.

He is known for his work with "The Blacklist," "Nailed It," and "At Night Comes Wolves." While his work is mainly in film post-production, he also makes music.


On August 31, 2008, "The Blacklist" actor and his actress partner, Leslie Stefanson, welcomed his third son, Nathaneal. Given the time he spends with his youngest son, Spader proves that he is a family man.

When he agreed to play the villain Ultron in Joss Whedon's "Avengers" sequel, two of his sons, interested in comics, were excited for him.

During quarantine, the Emmy award-winning actor spent time with his youngest son. They would line up beer cans on the far end of the garden and shoot them up with BB guns.


In 2009, Spader revealed that he had an aversion to technology, and it was "some sort of deficiency." He had a battered-looking cellphone not equipped for email because he did not use it.

He also had no computer and electronics in his life and did not seem to mind. However, his older sons and ex-wife constantly shoot their heads at him in dismay and embarrassment.



Spader's current partner, Stefanson, born on May 10, 1971, graduated with an English Literature degree from Barnard College of Columbia University.

She worked as an actress in film and television before becoming an award-winning sculptor. The couple who met in 2002 starred in "Alien Hunter" before she retired from acting to become a sculptor.

She has starred in "The Cowboy Way," "The Mirror has Two Faces," "Flubber," "Unbreakable," "MD's," "Glass," "The Hunted," "The Stick-up," and more.


The couple has been together for two decades. They are not married again despite having a teen son. Spader revealed that he took great care of things people took for granted when asked how he kept their romance alive and exciting.

Spader and Stefanson, who maintained homes in London and New York City's Greenwich Village, sold one of Spader's properties located in the Windsor Square neighborhood.

James Spader and Leslie Stefanson at the 56th Annual Primetime Emmy Awards in 2004 | Source: Getty Images

James Spader and Leslie Stefanson at the 56th Annual Primetime Emmy Awards in 2004 | Source: Getty Images


While some stars plan on expanding their families, Spader said he believed in negative population growth and was not about increasing the size of the population.

He said he has a child with his current partner and two children with his ex-wife, whom he referred to as 'another mother.' Spader believes that his three children will replace him and their two mothers.

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