Kelsey Grammer Blamed Himself for Sister’s Death That 'Nearly Destroyed' Him — His Kids Became His 'Joy' in Life
"Frasier" & "Cheers" star Kelsey Grammer lived through a series of tragedies when he was younger that involved losing many family members. The pain almost destroyed his life, and he lost all reason to live, yet thanks to his faith, he found the strength to live on. Today, the actor is a father of seven and grandfather of one, and he takes immense pride in his family life.
Actor Kelsey Grammer began his acting career in theatre in the late 70s before making his Broadway debut in 1981, playing Lennox in William Shakespeare's tragic play, "Macbeth."
He made his TV debut in 1984, appearing as Dr. Frasier Crane in "Cheers," and then as the titular protagonist of its spinoff, "Frasier." The role propelled him to indelible fame, cementing his place as one of the biggest stars in TV history.
Kelsey Grammer as Dr. Frasier Crane and Shelley Long as Diane Chambers in "Cheers" | Source: Getty Images
He also took home numerous accolades, including four Emmy Awards for his humorous character that persistently put smiles on everyone's faces. Yet, life before comedy was nothing short of tragic. The actor endured a lot of pain before his fame, born of the immeasurable tragedies in his early life that nearly destroyed him.
Grammer's first brush with pain came when he was only two after his parents divorced. His father became absent from his life, so he was raised under his mother's and maternal grandparents' care in New Jersey, then in Pompano Beach, Florida.
Kelsey Grammer as Dr. Frasier Crane in "Cheers," circa 1980s | Source: Getty Images
Shortly after the move, he experienced his first gut-wrenching loss when his grandfather passed away after a fierce battle with cancer. That would be the beginning of a series of tragedies that saw him lose many members of his family, some under very devastating circumstances.
When Grammer was only 13, he lost his father under very disturbing circumstances after he was shot twice during a home invasion. While his father had not been in his life since the comic was only two, they had been in communication for years and created a bond.
Seven years after that first tragedy, Grammer lost his younger sister, Karen, in the hands of a brutal killer, who left her for dead in a trailer park after hours of abuse.
Kelsey Grammer as Dr. Frasier Crane, George Wendt as Norm Peterson, and Woody Harrelson as Woody Boyd in "Cheers," circa 1993 | Source: Getty Images
Years passed, decades even, but Grammer always regretted not being there to protect his sister. He had been living in a different state, but that did not stop the guilt from nearly crushing him. He said while he forgave his sister's killer, he would never endorse his release from prison as it would betray Karen's life.
"I miss her in my bones. I was her big brother. I was supposed to protect her — I could not. It very nearly destroyed me."
He found solace in knowing that many others suffered more pain than he did. However, while everyone has experienced loss at some point, he felt he got a big dose of it. He eventually let go of the guilt, albeit after many years, but the hurt and pain of losing his sister were still fresh in his mind.
Actor Kelsey Grammer attends the "The Expendables 3" premiere during the 67th Annual Cannes Film Festival on May 18, 2014 in Cannes, France. | Source: Getty Images
And yet, only years later, he suffered more loss when his half brothers, Stephen and Billy, died in a scuba diving accident. Billy did not resurface after the dive, and when Stephen went back in to look for him, he died of an air embolism. Billy's body was never found.
All this loss was hard on Grammer, and for years, despite being raised in a spiritual background, he lost his faith and found no reason to remain alive.
Overcoming Tragedy and Finding Love
Suffering such magnitude of loss and pain is enough to break a man, and for Grammer, breaking apart did not seem so far away. He lost his faith and sometimes even rejected God.
Kelsey Grammer and daughter Mason during the premiere of Disney's "Teacher's Pet" at the El Capitan Theatre in Hollywood, California | Source: Getty Images
Grammer questioned where God was when he suffered so much gut-wrenching loss. But eventually, the "Jesus Revolution" actor came to terms with it and found great peace in his faith and Jesus. He said:
"It's not cavalier — Jesus made a difference in my life. That's not anything I'll apologize for."
The "The Good Humor Man" actor also found the love of a beautiful woman, Kayte Walsh. His marriage to Walsh is his fourth, and he had to live through several failed unions to have his forever after.
Camille Grammer, Kelsey Grammer, and children Mason and Jude on July 26, 2008 in Watermill, New York | Source: Getty Images
Grammer married his first wife, dance instructor Doreen Alderman in 1982, and they divorced in 1990. However, most of their final years together were spent separately. They share a daughter, actress Spencer Grammer, born in October 1983.
He married his second wife, a former exotic dancer, Leigh-Anne Csuhany, in September 1992, a union that lasted a year before Grammer filed for annulment and evicted her from their home. They did not have any children together.
The star then married his third wife, dancer and model Camille Donatacci in August 1997, after they first met on a blind date the previous year. However, 13 years later, in 2010, Grammer filed for divorce, citing irreconcilable differences. Their divorce became final in 2011.
Kelsey Grammer and Kayte Grammer with children Faith Grammer and Kelsey Gabriel Elias Grammer at the "Late Show With David Letterman" on March 11, 2015 in New York City | Source: Getty Images
He finally found his true love after meeting Walsh, an English flight attendant and daughter of former footballer Alan Walsh. Grammer met Walsh on a flight to London and has always been open about his romantic first encounter with her.
The two exchanged vows at The Plaza Hotel in New York City on February 25, 2011, only weeks after Grammer's third marriage was dissolved.
Finally, after decades and decades of looking for true love and failing terribly, Grammer had found the woman who made his heart sing, and he never shies away from heaping praises on her. He said of his 25-years-younger wife:
"This lovely woman lit up my world and changed my heart, which was a bit calloused and hardened against a lot of things. And we are good, and I feel young and alive."
In addition to being a loving husband to Walsh, the "Like Father" actor is also a father of seven children, four from his previous marriages and relationships and three—a daughter and two sons—with Walsh. He is also a doting grandfather of one.
A Look into the Grammer's Children’s Lives
Grammer may have cemented his role as one of America's most prolific actors, but besides work, the actor finds joy in being a father to his seven children, aged 6 to 39.
The actor had his first taste of fatherhood, a role he says is the "greatest experience" that has brought him immense joy, when he had his first child, Spencer Grammer, in 1983.
He shares Spencer with his first wife, "Body Chemistry" actress Doreen Alderman. Like her father, Spencer is also in the entertainment business and is majorly recognized for her roles in "Greek," "Roommate Wanted," and Beyond Paradise," among many others. She is also the voice behind Summer Smith in the animated science fiction series, "Rick and Morty."
Spencer has been open about her relationship with her dad, noting that Grammer has always supported her pursuit of acting and tells her to follow her heart and do things only for the right reason.
He also supported her when she was pregnant with her son and recalls Grammer advising her that parenthood was beautiful. She does not shy away from paying tribute to her dad, and for Father's Day 2019, she posted a cute photo of Grammer and his grandson, captioned with her confession of her love for him.
Kelsey Grammer and Greer Grammer at the Amazon Prime Video premiere of the original drama series "The Last Tycoon" at Harmony Gold Theatre on July 27, 2017 in Los Angeles, California | Source: Getty Images
The "Best of Enemies" actor then welcomed his second child, Kandace Greer Grammer, in 1991, with his then-girlfriend, hair and makeup stylist, Barrie Buckner. Greer has also followed in the family's footsteps and is an actress, with acting credits as Christine Purdy in "The Last Summer," Mia in "Life Partners," and Annabelle in "An Evergreen Christmas."
Greer shares an enviable bond with her dad and appreciates their relationship. In 2021, she posted a photo of her with her dad, writing that she loved sharing his initials as well as his genes:
"Happy Father's Day to the og KG — I love sharing the same initials (and genes) as you. Forever proud to be your daughter."
Grammer had his third and fourth children, Mason and Jude, with his third wife, Camille Donatacci. Both their children were born via surrogate.
Mason, 21, has already established an acting career. She opened up about her relationship with her dad, regretting how hard it was on her after her parents separated. Her dad was not around as much, and she did not see him often. However, they have since mended their relationship, and she now says she can talk to her dad about anything.
Jude, 18, also aspires to follow in his dad's footsteps and become an actor. He shared a wonderful bond with his father and was even a groomsman at his wedding with Walsh.
In 2012, Grammer became a dad for the fifth time after he and his current wife, Walsh, welcomed a daughter, Faith Evangeline Elisa Grammer. Faith's birth was both thrilling and sad, as they had been expecting twins. Sadly, they lost their little boy in utero. In their statement, they said:
"A glorious birth with a lingering sadness is ours today. We choose to celebrate the life that has been given us."
Grammer was thrilled about his daughter's birth and said he saw her first. However, he joked that Faith appeared terrified to see him yet smiled boldly at first sight of her mother. Today, father and daughter are inseparable, and Grammer even named his brewery in upstate New York, Faith American Brewery, after her.
Kelsey Grammer and Kate Walsh is seen on September 08, 2021 in Los Angeles, California. | Source: Getty Images
Two years after welcoming Faith, Grammer and Walsh had a son, Kelsey Gabriel Elias. Soon after his birth, Grammer thought Gabriel was charming and fantastic, saying, "He's been real easy and agreeable."
In 2016, they had their youngest child, son Auden James Ellis. They named him after their favorite poet W. H. Auden and singer James Taylor. His other moniker Ellis is Grammer's great-grandfather's name. They explained the reason for choosing the name:
"He was a colorful character, to say the least. We wanted to give the name a second chance."
ayte Walsh and Kelsey Grammer attend the 2020 Vanity Fair Oscar Party hosted by Radhika Jones at Wallis Annenberg Center for the Performing Arts on February 09, 2020 in Beverly Hills, California | Source: Getty Images
The "Father Christmas Is Back" actor and his wife have chosen to raise their younger children from the spotlight and rarely discuss them in interviews or share their photos online.
Grammer Is a Doting Grandfather of One
Despite experiencing so much loss in his early years, Grammer finally found happiness in his children and says he finds joy every day in being with his kids. However, aside from his thriving Hollywood career and prosperous family life, the actor also carries the equally important role of a grandfather.
Grammer became a grandfather for the first time in 2011 after his daughter Spencer gave birth to her baby boy, Emmett Emmanuel Hesketh, with her then-husband, James Hesketh.
At the time, Spencer shared that Grammer loved kids and was excited at the prospect of becoming a new granddad. And he did not disappoint. Once Emmett was born, Grammer jumped straight into grandfather mode.
Spencer does not only appreciate how terrific of a father Grammer is to her and her siblings but is also amazed at how wonderful a grandfather he is to Emmett:
"He's a great grandfather, but we don't call him that."
Despite being excited about becoming a grandpa, Grammer does not like to be referred to as grandfather and instead wants his grandson to call him by his first name.
Spencer disclosed that she and her dad always loved doing puzzle games on vacations, and Grammer has taken the hobby up with his grandson too. In 2019, she posted a photo of the grandfather-grandson duo standing against a table laden with puzzle pieces, solving the puzzles together.
The "Chicago P.D" actress also disclosed how much Emmett loved his grandfather, noting that the little champ was a big fan of "Toy Story 2," in which Grammer is the voice of Stinky Pete.
Perhaps the loss of his family members made him appreciate family more, or it could be that the excellent star is just an incredibly awesome family man. Whichever the case, it remains clear that Grammer enjoys the things that matter most in life, and his family remains close to his heart.
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