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Anna Bernecki | A crib | Source: Instagram.com/anna.bernacki | Shutterstock
Anna Bernecki | A crib | Source: Instagram.com/anna.bernacki | Shutterstock

Woman Sacrificially Gave up Child for Adoption - Decades Later She Didn't Seem Happy at All to Meet Her Daughter

Wian Prinsloo
Apr 29, 2023
01:00 A.M.

As a young girl, Anna Bernacki was adopted by a pair of loving parents. When she finally had the chance to meet her biological mother, it wasn't what she had expected.

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Anna Bernacki's adoptive parents had nothing but great things to say about her biological mother. The couple who had taken her in was candid about her adoption from a young age, always being honest about the fact that she wasn't their biological child. They were also open about why Bernacki's mom gave her up.

Bernacki's adoptive parents told her that her biological mother loved her dearly, but she was merely a teenager when she fell pregnant. After she had Bernacki, the new mother realized she didn't have the means to care for her daughter, so she decided to sacrifice her relationship with her daughter and give Bernacki up to a family who would take good care of her.

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Bernacki's adoptive parents were loving and raised her with care, but that didn't stop her from wondering about her biological mother as she grew up. As with many adopted children, she dreamed about reuniting with her birth mom, but she had no way to contact or reach her, since it was a closed adoption.

After about a week, Bernecki's birth mother wrote an email to her, and the two started to communicate.

Bernacki admitted that she blamed her adoption for many of the problems she was facing at the time. Although many of these issues were natural for a growing kid, she felt she didn't have as strong a connection with her adoptive parents as many children have with their biological parents. So she vowed to find her birth mom as soon as she could.

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As she approached 18, Bernacki looked forward to meeting her biological mom more by the day. She looked at other families in public, longing for the closeness she thought her birth mom would give her, and often fantasized about their meeting at night. But Bernecki didn't prepare to be "crushed" when she finally met her mom.

Bernecki's Meeting With Her Mom Wasn't What She Expected at All

When Bernacki turned 18, she decided the time had finally come to learn more about her biological mom. She turned to the internet for information on her adoption. At that time, the internet was still largely in its infancy, and Bernacki knew very little about her adoption, to begin with, so answers didn't come as easily as she had hoped.

Determined to build a relationship with her birth mom, Bernecki stayed in touch.

Bernecki decided to wait a while longer, gather information, and try again later. She started college and gave her studies her full attention, graduating a few years after finishing high school. Once she had her degree, she moved out of her parents' house and decided to give her search one more try.

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Bernecki took to the internet once more, this time uncovering much more information on her adoption. She credited her success to the amount the internet expanded as she completed her degree. But all she could find was her biological mom's address, so Bernecki wrote her a letter, enclosing her email address in the note.

After about a week, Bernecki's birth mother wrote an email to her, and the two started to communicate. They spoke online for a while and eventually agreed to meet up in person at a hotel halfway between them, and Bernecki's biological mom arrived there first. The entire drive, Bernecki thought they would reunite like in her fantasies.

Almost bursting with excitement, Bernecki pulled up at the hotel. She expected to see her mom across the room, run to her, and they would embrace. Bernecki confessed it was "nothing like I expected." Bernecki saw her birth mother across the room, but she seemed slightly disinterested and could barely see her daughter.

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Her birth mom was legally blind, so the meeting was entirely anticlimactic. But Bernecki also realized her birth mom seemed uninterested in getting to know her. With her ideas of a grand reunion absolutely shattered, Bernecki started to wonder whether she was a disappointment.

After Seeing Biological Mom, Bernecki Learned She's Infertile

Determined to build a relationship with her birth mom, Bernecki stayed in touch. The two spoke, but it became apparent that the only reason Bernecki's biological mother had any interest in meeting her was to use her to get things. Although it was difficult, Bernecki severed all ties with her. She recalled:

"Over the course of the next several months, it became obvious that the only value she saw in me was trying to find a way to get things out of me. I felt smothered and used, rather than understood or connected. I had no choice but to end the relationship for my own mental health."

Although getting to know her biological mom was heartbreaking, Bernecki could move on with her life. A few years later, she met the love of her life, Brian Bernecki and the two decided to have kids. Bernecki thought this would be her chance to finally have the "biological connection" she wanted for so long.

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Bernecki and her husband tried to have kids for many months. Months eventually became a year, and they realized they had to see a specialist. It turned out they would be unable to have children, and they weren't willing to spend a fortune on fertility treatments that had no assurance of delivering positive results.

So, the couple turned to adoption. They tried to get into a program for a long time and finally had their first placements after four years. The first two kids who lived with them were two sisters, and Bernecki and her husband adored them. Miraculously, the two new foster parents had the opportunity to adopt them after about nine months.

Bernecki confessed that the first while was difficult. The kids had to adapt to a new environment, and the new parents had to help them through a lot of pain. But they were happy to help these two girls they loved so much.

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Seeing how her own family came together with hard work and love finally gave Bernecki the connection she had longed for her entire life. She realized DNA and biological connection were secondary to a loving home, and she commented, "Biology does not change anything. Only love and hard work can fulfill those deepest desires for connection."

Want more like this? Click here to read about a woman who found her lonely biological father in a nursing home and took him in.

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