Sandra Bullock Was ‘Trying Not to Cry’ by Dying Mom’s Bedside – She Raised Her Daughter Heeding Mom’s Advice
- Sandra Bullock lost her mother when she was very young and, as a result, was nervous about raising her daughter.
- Despite her fears, Bullock adopted a daughter, who posed a challenge at the beginning.
- Bullock stopped her career so she could be there for her children whenever they needed her.
Sandra Bullock and her mother, Helga Meyer, shared a lovely relationship. As such, Meyer's death did not come easy on the actress, who fought tears at her dying mother's bedside.
Meyer, a German opera singer, passed away in 2000, but not before she could leave some valuable advice to her daughter. Advice that she would later take to heart when she became a mother herself.
John Bullock and Helga Meyer at the 'Hope Floats' Westwood Premiere on May 27, 1998 | Source: Getty Images
The thought of having a daughter once scared Bullock, who credited this fear to her mother. Meyer would often warn her daughter to wait until she had a daughter of her own, to which Bullock joked:
"And the thought that a daughter of mine would be anything like I was scared me senseless."
On her deathbed, Meyer left Bullock a valuable piece of advice that changed the way the "Speed" star conducted her life from that moment on. Bullock recalled sitting at her mother's bedside, where they had a moment and she was "shut down and trying not to cry."
It was then that Meyer advised her daughter not to repeat the same mistakes she made by holding everything in and shutting down. Bullock felt her life with her mother had been explained at that moment as her mother had always been shut down and afraid to feel anything.
Since then, Bullock has learned to feel everything unapologetically, and this had translated to her motherhood. She began to feel better about being a mother to a daughter. She joked:
"If Laila gave me what I gave, I'll know it was all Helga B.'s doing, and she is laughing her ass off. I am fully prepared for that ride."
Helga Meyer, John Bullock, and Sandra Bullock at the Lombardi Gala to benefit cancer research at Georgetown University Hospital in 1998 | Source: Getty Images
Eighteen years after Bullock and Meyer had the deathbed conversation, Bullock and her sister, Gesine Bullock-Prado, had to face grief again when their father, John Bullock, passed away.
Bullock-Prado shared the sad news on Instagram, saying that her father was a baby brother, a WWII veteran, a grandpa, a trickster, and the father of four strong women.
Bullock's late boyfriend, Bryan Randall, also shared a touching tribute for Bullock's father on Instagram, saying John was surrounded by family when he took his last breaths.
John and Sandra Bullock at the 22nd Annual People's Choice Awards in 1996 | Source: Getty Images
Three years before her father passed away, Bullock adopted her daughter, Laila. She was excited to welcome her daughter, yet she experienced some challenging times when the little girl first came home.
What Was Bullock's Daughter Like When She First Came Home?
Laila had been in three separate foster care placements by the time she was two and a half years old. When Bullock adopted her in 2015, five years after she adopted her older son, Louis, the actress soon saw how traumatized Laila was by her experiences.
Sandra Bullock at the "Forces of Nature" premiere in 1999 | Source: Getty Images
Bullock, who had her children sleeping in the walk-in closet in her bedroom for fear of not being close to them, said she would enter the space where her children were sleeping and could not find Laila.
The actress said her daughter always hid on a bookshelf or amongst the clothes. Laila was also always prepared to leave Bullock's home. Once, when she told Bullock that she was leaving, the actress reassured her, saying:
"And I'm like, 'OK, I'm going to be right behind you. So just know that you can leave, but I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere.'"
Bullock found it a little amusing when her daughter told her she was leaving as she was "all power" at that moment, but it also showed the actress that she had to establish a new life for her daughter from scratch as she was profoundly traumatized by her upbringing to that point.
Researchers have deduced that at least 20% of abused children experience post-traumatic stress disorder, and Bullock found that Laila was one of them. Bullock experienced her daughter's triggers daily and even took some of the behavior personally, but she understood that it was all about survival for Laila.
Bullock would often find her daughter hiding food and knew it was her daughter's survival instinct causing her to do so. She shared that Laila's spirit had brought her further in life but that she would always experience triggers.
Sandra Bullock at the Los Angeles premiere of Paramount Pictures' "The Lost City" in 2022 | Source: Getty Images
While Bullock is grateful for her two children and that she became a parent later in life, the journey was not easy. Bullock had to be taught how to parent a child with trauma and complex experiences and was thoroughly evaluated before she was allowed to bring her children home.
Now that she has her children, she knows she was meant to be their mother. She once shared:
"The sweetest part of it is that I found out about both babies when I was in the exact same place — I was in the place where my mother was buried."
Sandra Bullock and her son, Louis at the 70th Venice International Film Festival in 2013 | Source: Getty Images
It makes Bullock emotional to talk about how she thinks her mother brought her both her children, but she believes without a doubt that that is the case, and she is grateful for it.
Why Did Bullock Stop Her Career?
Bullock has considered stepping away from Hollywood twice. The first time was when her career had just begun. After being given a breakout role in 1994's "Speed," Meyer told her daughter that she didn't need to get married; she needed to forge her own path in life.
Sandra Bullock at the 77th Annual Golden Globe Awards in 2020 | Source: Getty Images
Because of her mother's advice, Bullock went through life believing that everyone was equal and that she could do anything a man could do. Still, she had a hard time coming to terms with the fact that she was sometimes mistreated because other people were sexist.
Bullock even considered doing something else for a living because it was so difficult for her to think about how she was being treated differently because she was a woman. However, she forged on with her career.
In 2022, Bullock once again talked about leaving Hollywood, saying this time she had decided that she would do so. She didn't know how long she would be leaving Hollywood but said she wanted to be where she was happiest.
Sandra Bullock in New York City in October 2016 | Source: Getty Images
Bryan Randall and Sandra Bullock at the "Oceans 8' world premiere on June 5, 2018 in New York City | Source: Getty Images
For Bullock, she is happiest when she's at home with her children. Until his death, Bullock and her boyfriend, Bryan Randall, raised Laila and Louis together, ensuring they always understood and celebrated their African heritage.
An insider said her children's heritage was celebrated through the shows they watched, the games they played, and the books they read. The insider also noted that Bullock is a hands-on mother who dotes on her children and does everything for them, from cooking and cleaning to bathing them when they were younger. Bullock has not returned to Hollywood since announcing she would take a break.
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