Am I Wrong for My Reaction to My DIL’s Comment?

What was supposed to be a family dinner, turned into a scene of arguments. A woman was shocked when her son got angry at her for standing up for herself.

A 39-year-old woman had been trying her best to control her emotions around her new daughter-in-law, but one day, she lost it when she made another rude comment. So she took it to Reddit to find out if she was wrong for how she reacted.

The woman explained that she was a young mother-in-law and had her children young, too. Once her children had all left the nest, she and her husband agreed that she would continue to be a homemaker and get more involved in the community.

The wife was fortunate to have a husband who made a lot of money, but instead of going back to work, she felt it would be better to do more volunteer work.

Although life was changing, she was excited to see her 22-year-old son marry but confessed that she did not like his wife. She loved that she was blunt and business-minded, but some of the comments she made would be hurtful.

For example, the Redditor said that on her wedding day, she and her husband gave her a gift, but the daughter-in-law remarked that she would only thank the father because she knew it was his money that bought the gift.

Despite the Original Poster (OP) explaining that she volunteered, she told her it was not a real job. Still, the Redditor would do her best to stay polite for the sake of her son. She also brought the issue up with him and confronted his wife, but the passive-aggressive comments kept coming.

One day, the mother-in-law had a get-together and prepared a home-cooked meal. While preparing everything, her daughter-in-law fired another comment, saying it was no wonder I could make a home-cooked meal, because I didn't do anything else with my day.

This time, the OP lost it and told her daughter-in-law that she needed to respect her. The daughter-in-law was shocked at the OP's reaction and started crying, but the tears did not move the older woman. The mother kicked her out of her house, but her son was angry at her and thought what she did was unreasonable. So, the Redditor asked for outside opinions.

Commenters took the 39-year-old's side and thought her daughter-in-law was wrong for disrespecting her and her life. People reasoned that just because the Redditor did not live a life aligned with her business-minded standards did not make her less important, especially if she and her husband were happy.

Readers said working as a volunteer did not take away from her worth because she was still doing a lot to help others. More commenters wondered what the OP's husband thought about this and how her son condoned his wife's behavior.

However, one Redditor felt there should have been more to the story to determine if the older woman was wrong. Despite the lack of context, more readers were shocked at the daughter-in-law's behavior and reckoned she needed to learn basic respect.

People also thought the mother's reaction was the "verbal slap" she needed, but many predicted that she would victimize herself instead of admitting where she went wrong. Redditors said the wife needed to grow up and gain a better understanding of the different relationship dynamics that exist.

The son's wife had many commenters angry because they did not understand why she presented herself as the boss of another person's household. Readers emphasized that she needed to keep her "condescending" comments to herself.

On the other side, one commenter thought it was best for the mother to set boundaries and tell her son that he and his wife were not welcome in her home until she apologized. Do you think the mother was wrong for how she reacted?

Here is a story about a woman who kicked out her 72-year-old mother-in-law after she threw out her stuff.