Am I Wrong for Offering to Buy a Girl a Drink and Then Not Paying For It?

What are the unspoken rules about offering and accepting drinks in social settings? This man offered to buy a woman a drink at a bar, but he quickly retracted the offer. Due to the circumstances, he turned to Reddit to ask if he was wrong.

In the bustling nightlife of Toronto, a young man's attempt to impress a woman he met at a bar blew up in his face and he shared his story on Reddit. In this incident, a 23-year-old man saw a beautiful woman at a bar while out enjoying the evening with friends. He decided to gain the courage to make a move and he offered to buy her a drink.

The woman accepted and accompanied him to the bar, where the situation took an unexpected turn. Instead of ordering a drink for herself, she requested four double shots of a high-end tequila, Don Julio 1942, intended for her friends as well. The price of such a request was substantial, approximately $75 per double shot, totaling around $300 for the four drinks.

He looked at her in shock, but she patted him on the back and told him she needed to get drinks for her friends too. The Original Poster (OP) was caught off guard and found that it was unreasonable to pay that much when he only offered the girl a drink.

So the young man made a split-second decision not to pay for the drink. He placed a $10 bill on the bar, informing the bartender that the woman would cover the cost of the shots, and then walked away. This action led to an immediate and heated response from the woman, who felt wronged by the sudden retraction of his offer.

However, the story was far from over. It so happened that the woman worked with the OP’s mother. One day, OP's mother happened to show the woman one of his pictures, and she immediately recognised his face.

The woman shared the story with the young man's mother and, upon hearing the account, she labeled her son's actions as inappropriate and suggested he make amends by covering the cost of the drinks, but the OP laughed and refused.

OP then turned to Reddit to ask if he was wrong to back out of buying the girl a drink after he offered. While his mother might have found his behavior unacceptable, commenters understood where he was coming from.

People argued that the woman's request far exceeded reasonable expectations and she took advantage of a casual social gesture. “I'm impressed with your nerve to straight up reject that and walk away.” remarked a commenter. Reddit users argued that his reaction was an understandable response to feeling manipulated in a situation, and people thought the first sign of him being tricked was the pat on the back the girl gave him.

Another commenter pointed out that he could have at least stopped the bartender from pouring the drinks because it would have saved everyone a lot more trouble. But people found it unnecessary that the woman taddled to the OP’s mother, "Tell her she can have her friends split the bill since they all wanted a shot too lmao." added a netizen.

While the OP’s mother thought that once an offer was made, retracting it, especially in a public setting, was rude and demonstrated a lack of integrity, commenters had a problem with the woman ordering an expensive drink, and then going ahead and getting four of them. “I can't believe she had the audacity to order not one $75 drink, but 4. If I were her, I wouldn't be able to tell someone this story without wishing to disappear from embarrassment,” expressed a Redditor.

In the end, as some commenters suggested, the debate over who was in the wrong in this situation may have been avoided if the OP communicated that the drink was beyond what he was willing to pay, but Redditors also believed the woman could have chosen a more affordable drink.

Here is a story about a man who contemplated breaking up with his partner after he found something while she was cleaning.