I have an STD but I am afraid to tell my husband I was cheating

Dear AmoMama,

I am in a very complicated situation and can see no way out that does not lead to a disaster. About three months ago I went on a business trip to New Orleans and ended up getting a little tipsy at the hotel bar and had sex with a colleague I'd always fancied.

I've been married for 12 years and I must admit it wasn't my first slip-up. My colleague and I continued the affair for a few weeks, and then he ended it and started seeing another woman from the company.

I started having some gynecological issues and went to my doctor who diagnosed an STD and initiated treatment but he told me I had to inform all the people I had has sex with so they could get treatment too since most men have no symptoms.

I told my colleague immediately and he said he already knew, and that his last lover had had the same problem. He had known and infected me! I was very angry but he said it was no big deal, that it is curable and not like AIDS.

I know it is curable, but how do I tell my husband he has to go in for tests because I may have infected him with an STD I got from another man? My husband is a very rigid type of man. He is very moralistic and righteous and would never forgive me for having an affair,

If I tell him the truth, I will lose him and be alone, since my ex-lover has moved on. If I don't tell him he won't get the treatment he needs and will reinfect me.

I just don't know what to do. I even thought about telling him that I was raped and that is how I got infected, but then he will want me to go to the police and there will be even more lies to tell and God only knows how that will end.

I can't afford to tell the truth, I can't afford to lie. Can anyone advise me as to how I should proceed? Maybe if I play innocent and accuse him of having an affair and infecting me? I am too confused and frightened to make a decision, can anyone please help me?

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