My racist dad refuses to attend my wedding to my black fiancee. Should I call it off?

Dear AmoMama,

It seems incredible that such things should still happen nowadays, but they do. People say the right things, are all politically correct but when it touches them personally the truth comes out.

I always thought my dad was a pretty cool open-minded person, and I guess in some ways he still is, but I never knew he was a racist until I announced my engagement to a wonderful man I met through my law firm, who happens to be African-American.

I live in Chicago, and my parents live in Minnesota and I had been telling them about 'Charles' for months: what an amazing guy he was, and what a great lawyer, but it never occurred to me to tell them he is Black. I don't think of him as Black, or Asian or anything. He is just 'Charles.'

So I brought 'Charles' up to my parent's on the 4th of July, so he could meet them before the wedding which is set for September, on my birthday.

The moment we walked in I knew it was a disaster. My dad stared at 'Charles' like he was dirt. My mom tried to cover up, be all sweet and charming and she welcomed 'Charles' and called him 'son'.

The evening was unbearable, and the next morning my father told me he was disgusted with me and that he would not be walking me down the aisle, and that I'd better not bring any half-breed misbegotten children into his house.

I was shattered, and 'Charles' and I left straight away. I just couldn't stop crying. My mother called me and begged me to come back, that she would change his mind.

I am so shocked and heartbroken. I always imagined I'd walk down the aisle on my father's arm, and that he would hand me to the man I love.

I don't know if I can face my wedding day alone. 'Charles'' family is lovely and they accepted me open-heartedly. I know they love me, but I feel bereft. My fiancee's father has told me he will walk me down the aisle, but it will not be the same.

I want to cancel the big wedding, I just want to go with 'Charles' to the courthouse and get married quietly, but at the same time, I feel it will be unfair to him and his family. Please help me, I don't know what to do.

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