I have been married for 15 years and I honestly can't say I'm very happy, but neither am I miserable.
My husband loves his job, and I love mine and we give each other a lot of space to develop our individual and very successful careers.
I'm an attractive woman, and still young, I think. I am 42, but my husband only approaches me for sex when he's drunk after a party or a business dinner. Otherwise, you could say he never touches me and doesn't even seem to think of me as a woman.
I guess I got used to it, you know? I endured those quick boozy fumblings, but I can't remember when he last made love to like he loved and wanted me.
I suppose I never realized how bitterly lonely I was until I went for a three-day conference at Lake Tahoe. On the first night, I went to meet my work colleagues at the hotel bar, and when I looked up there was this man standing in the doorway.
It was this instant attraction, we both felt it and we couldn't control it. We made love that night, and I spent the next 3 days with him. I had never felt so alive, or so desired, and complete.
We made each other no promises, and we parted and went our own ways. The problem is, that I was no longer content in my dead marriage to a man who neither loves nor desires me. I can't live like this anymore.
Now I have realized that I am pregnant, and my husband will know it isn't his. I guess I could solve that problem in the usual way, but I want this baby, and I want to be alive.
How can I explain all this to my husband who is content and thinks we have a perfect marriage?
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