My ex-husband would bring his girlfriend over to the house and lay on the sofa with her

Dear AmoMama,

My ex-husband cheated on me after 8 years together. He would bring his girlfriend over to the house and lay on the sofa with her and take her into his bedroom and have sex with her and I had to listen to them. We were still married at the time.

They would hold hands and kiss in front of me. He used me to get his permanent residence card. It destroyed my life. He is 49 years and she is 25.

I have to see them together on Thursday at court. He left me nothing. I am on disability and can't work. He cheated on me and he abused me. He walks free and I have anxiety and PSTD.

Our divorce was final on Dec 30, 2016, and still can't get over it. Church helps, and I am in counseling. I do not trust anyone and have no self-esteem. He is from Peru and his girlfriend is from Peru. Has anybody gone through what I did?

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Dear subscriber,

You have gone through a great disappointment, and are still recovering from the shattering of your illusions. Your ex-husband was abusive, and the situation left your self-esteem in tatters. You are working hard to overcome the damage, but in order to do so, you must let go of the pain.

This man deceived and used you cruelly, but he cannot destroy you. He hurt you, yes, but under the scars, you are still yourself.

You are a wonderful, caring, sensitive woman who has a whole life ahead of her. It's good that you have sought support in your Church, and help in therapy.

You are on the road to taking back your life, but remember that living a full life requires taking chances. Don't give up on trust and love. Don't let this pathetic man's cruel actions condition your life.

Be strong, be happy, be yourself.

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