'My mother is jealous of my marriage and she’s making my life miserable'
I married a wonderful man three years ago. We have a daughter, and I’m currently expecting our second child, a boy. My husband bought a home for us, and he’s everything I’ve ever wanted in a man. He’s a lovely father and a hardworking, smart man. It sounds like I have a wonderful life, but sadly, my mom is getting on the way with her selfishness.
My mom didn’t have the same luck I had in love and life, and she’s openly bitter about it. She had me as a product of an illicit relationship with a married doctor. He had been married for two years, but I was his first-born. I always thought my stepfather was my dad; I only found out the truth when I was 8 and visiting my grandmother.
My dad came around when I was 12, but he was always bragging about his other kids, making promises and never delivering and reminding me from time to time that he never wanted me in the first place. My mother never protected me from the emotional distress he caused me, and she didn’t put him in child support so if I needed anything I had to call and beg for it.
He eventually died, leaving behind only $5k in inheritance instead of the $50k he had promised. Meanwhile, my mom was busy being physically abused by my stepfather, and my grandparents were raising me. As I grew older, my mom figured I could take care of myself, so she basically neglected me and dedicated her life to my brother, her son with my stepfather.
Luckily, I’m proud to say I’ve succeeded in life. I became a nurse and have accomplished most of my dreams until now. But instead of being happy for me, she has made her mission to make my life a nightmare.
When I first introduced her to my husband, she said he wanted to take advantage of me. He’s African, and I’m from the Caribbean, so she assumed he was with me to get a green card. I met him when he was finishing his second master’s degree here; he didn’t need me for legal reasons.
She was extremely rude to my husband’s family on our wedding, refused to give me a wedding gift but wanted to invite all of her friends even though our budget couldn’t cover them, and got so drunk she almost ruined my cake.
When I got pregnant, instead of saying “congratulations” she told me “if that’s what you want…”
I didn’t speak to her for five months after that, waiting for her to apologize, but instead, all I got was her admitting she was jealous of me and refusing to apologize because she didn’t felt like she did anything wrong.
Now my family and I recently moved to a new house. I invited her because, despite all she’s done, my husband believes everyone deserves a second chance. However, our stove was not working at the time, and when she asked if she could bring anything, we said food.
She brought a plate…for herself.
I cut her off after that; I had enough of the disrespect. I’m now in my third trimester, and my grandparents are asking me to move on a reach out to her. To accept that’s just who she is and try and ignore her lousy attitude so she can be in my kids’ life.
I feel conflicted and don’t know what to do. What do you think? Should I ignore her rudeness for the sake of my kids? Or should I stand my ground for my mental peace?
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