Question for those who have been married for a long time
My husband and I have been married for more than 27 years. I married him when I was only 19 years old.
I can't imagine life without him. I have devoted myself to my family and never worked outside of the home.
In fact, I am nothing without my husband. I could never have imagined he would betray me in a such a deceiving way.
Here are the facts: There was a time when I caught my husband lying. He denied it and swore that he loves me.
But I assume he acted like anyone else would in such a situation. Plus, the deceit has remained unproven even if it did happen.
Basically, he lied to me about a trip he took with a colleague and a friend. He drove them around at odd hours on a "tour."
This probably sounds comical on my part, but after the incident, it really looked like he was afraid to lose me.
He insisted that he didn't cheat on me and that he has never loved anyone except me.
Most will call me a complete fool. But keep in mind we have lived together for several years. It would be very scary to just change everything.
Overall, our relationship seemed great. We showed affection, have intimacy, and still have feelings for one another. Or so I thought.
But it has happened again. A month ago, he went on another "business trip." When I asked for details, he told me everything but sounded very irritated when doing so.
I told him that if there was another instance of lying, it would be the last. To which he responded by shouting that I didn't trust him and he has nothing to hide.
My birthday came on the day of his departure. He was still offended by what I had said so there was no reconciliation between us.
He gave me birthday greetings via the telephone. The exchange was quite short and I didn't quite like it at all.
He arrived late on Sunday evening without any birthday gifts for me. When I inquired about that, he said that we would celebrate the following day and that he was too tired to talk.
Of course, I was disappointed. I responded that his telephone greeting could be awarded the Guinness World Record for the shortest birthday wish.
And then he lay it all on me. He said that not only is he tired, he also does not want to see me anymore. According to him, I had spoiled everything with my mistrust and my unsubstantiated suspicions.
And then he hit me with the words that he no longer wanted to live with me. There was a lot of aggression in his voice, and a lot of insults in his words.
Personally, I don't believe it's my fault. But I would like some advice. Some answers to my pressing questions.
What could be the cause of this unwarranted aggression? Is it a defense mechanism in which an attack is used against deceit? Please give me advice.