Daily Joke: Attractive 19-Year-Old Lady Approaches an Old Man in a Bar

A 71-year-old man had the best response after a young gorgeous girl approached him at the bar.

He was having a drink at a bar in Chicago when an attractive 19-year-old girl entered and sat down a few seats away. The old man couldn’t take his eyes off the young lady. When she noticed that he had been staring at her for a while, the girl walked up to him.

He was ready to apologize but he was surprised by what the girl said. Looking at him deep in the eyes, she said: “I’ll do anything you’d like. Anything you can imagine in your wildest dreams, it doesn’t matter how extreme or unusual it is, I’m game. I want 100 dollars, and there’s another condition.”

Stunned, the old man asked her what her condition was. She replied, saying: “You have to tell me what you want me to do in just three words,” she said, stretching out her hands.

The old man considered the beautiful girl’s offer for a moment. After a while, he decided what he wanted her to do and began to count the bills in his wallet.

He then placed 10 ten-dollar bills in her outstretched hand. Looking her square in the eye, he said slowly and clearly: “Paint my house.”

In another story, an old man was ecstatic to find out that his 20-year-old wife was pregnant. The 86-year-old man was excited to tell his doctor that he has impregnated his much younger wife.

When he got to the doctor's office, this is how the conversation went:

The doctor asked the 86-year-old how he was doing, and he said: “Things are great, and I’ve never felt better! I now have a 20-year-old bride who is pregnant with my child. What do you think about that, doc?”

The doctor considered the question for a minute and then began to tell a story. He begins to narrate the story of his older friend, who is much like the 86-year-old man.

The doctor goes on to say that his friend is an avid hunter and never misses a season. However, one day when he was set to go hunting, he accidentally picked up his walking cane instead of his gun.

"As he neared a lake, he came across a very large male beaver sitting at the water’s edge. As he left his gun, he couldn't shoot the magnificent creature," continued the doctor, adding:

"Out of habit, he raised his cane, aimed it at the animal, and yelled ‘bang bang.' Miraculously, two shots rang out and the beaver fell dead."

Realizing where the doctor was headed, the 86-year-old replied: "Logic would strongly suggest that somebody else pumped a few rounds into that beaver."

The doctor nodded. “My point exactly.”

In another instance, a man was granted one wish. He was walking on the beach when suddenly, he heard a voice saying he could wish for anything he wanted.

The voice said he had been observing the man for all of his life and had seen how he has been faithful. He commended the man for his lifestyle and decided to grant him one wish.

The man asked God to build a bridge that went from California to Hawaii and back so he could drive over anytime he wanted. Ultimately, the voice told the man he was very materialistic, asking him to realize the challenges that would crop up in granting his request.

While he said he could do it, the voice asked the man to think some more of anything he might want that would honor and glorify God. The man pondered on this and finally made a request.

He wished to understand his wife. He wanted to know how she feels, what she thinks when she gives him the silent treatment, why she cries, and what she actually means when she says nothing is wrong.

The man added that he wanted to know how to make his wife truly happy. After making his wish known, the voice replied:

"You want two lanes or four on that bridge?"

Want another? An old man walked into a bar, crying. Concerned, the bartender asked him what was wrong. The old man replied:

“I married a beautiful woman two days ago. She’s twenty-five, intelligent, a marvelous cook, a meticulous housekeeper, extremely sensitive to my wants and needs, very giving, my best friend, and intensely passionate in bed.”

Stunned, the bartender looked at him. He asked why he was crying, as it seemed the old man had everything a man could ever want in a woman. The old man sobbed some more and said: "I can't remember where I live!"