Daily Joke: Husband Comes Home Drunk from a Company Party

A man named John was drunk after a company party when he returned home to his better half. He was in for a big surprise when he woke up the following morning.

John woke up with a huge hangover the day after one of his company's parties. He doesn’t normally drink a lot, but at this particular party, the drinks were flowing like never before.

John couldn’t remember how he made it home from the party, as everything was a blur. To make things worse, he felt completely awful and had no idea whether he’d done something stupid while he was drunk.

When he eventually managed to pull himself out of bed and open his eyes, he saw a glass of water and some headache tablets on his bedside table. Next to the glass of water was a single red rose.

John stood up and saw his clothes on a chair in front of him, neatly folded. He looked around the room and saw that everything was perfectly clean as if it had just been tidied up.

He walked around the house and saw that it was the same everywhere – the entire house was clean and tidy. John took some headache tablets and gasped when he saw himself in the bathroom mirror.

Over one eye was a massive bruise. He also saw a small note on the lower corner of the mirror. The little note was covered in hearts and he could see that his wife had even left a red lipstick kiss on the note.

The note from his wife read: “Hi sweetie! Breakfast is on the table. I’m going to do some grocery shopping so I can cook your favorite dinner tonight. I love you!”

John stumbled into the kitchen and sure enough, breakfast was there on the table. Scrambled eggs, freshly brewed coffee and today’s paper lay on the table. John’s son was also sitting at the table, eating.

John asked: “Son, do you have any idea what happened last night?” He nodded and went on to narrate what happened:

“Yep, you came home at three in the morning, totally drunk. You fell on the hall table and broke it. Then you threw up all over the floor and ran into a door. That’s probably how you got that black eye…”

Confused, John asked his son: ”Ok… So why is everything so clean and tidy here. I have a rose upstairs, breakfast on the table and your mom is out buying dinner?”

"Oh yeah, that… when mom took you up to bed and started undressing you, you yelled out 'Leave me alone, I’m a married man!!'"

Another time, a man came home drunk late at night. When his wife asked where he came from, he replied: "In the Golden Bar!"

He went on to narrate what could be found in the bar, saying they had golden chairs, golden glasses, golden beer, and a golden urinal. Suspicious about whether or not her husband's narration was true, she decided to give the Golden Bar a call.

While on the line, she began to ask:

"Do you have golden chairs?" to which the woman on the line said "yes.""Do you have golden glasses?" "Yes." "Do you have golden beer?" "Yes.""Do you have a golden urinal?"

There was a long pause from the other side of the line, before asking the confused wife to hold the line. She then begins to hear someone shouting from the other end:

"I think we have a line on the guy who pissed in your saxophone!"

Do you want to hear more? Here's what happened when a man complained about a headache that was bothering him.