Daily Joke: Wife Catches Her Husband in Bed with Another Woman
While divorces and marriages falling apart are no laughing matter, sometimes the creative tactics of cheaters are sources of good laughter.
One day, a wife cheerfully arrived home after a long shopping trip and decided to head up to her bedroom. Her mood changed as soon as she entered the room, as she was horrified to find her husband of more than 10 years in bed with a beautiful, younger woman.
She was about to storm out of the house, but her husband stopped her. He wanted to explain the circumstances that led to them being in bed together.
“Before you leave, I want you to hear how this all came about. Driving home, I saw this young girl looking poor and tired. I offered her a ride," he said. He explained that she was hungry, so he brought her home and fed her some of the roast in the fridge that his wife had forgotten about.
He went on to explain that since the woman's shoes were worn out, he gave a pair of his wife's shoes that she no longer wore because they were out of style. The wife could not believe what she was hearing and was furious.
The woman was also freezing from being out in the chilly weather for so long, so the husband gave her the new birthday sweater his wife never wore. He went on to explain that her slacks were worn out as well, so he also decided to give her a pair of those.
The clever husband then explained that as the woman was about to leave the house, she paused and asked: "Is there anything else that your wife doesn't use anymore?" "So, here we are!" the husband concluded.
Another time, a couple, both aged 78, went to a therapist’s office. The doctor asked, “What can I help you with?” The man then answered: “Will you watch us have intercourse?”
The doctor looked puzzled but agreed. When the couple finished, the doctor said, “There’s nothing wrong with the way you have sex,” and charged them $50 for the consultation.
This happened several weeks in a row. The couple would make an appointment, have intercourse while the doctor watched, pay him for his time, then leave.
Finally, the doctor asked, “There is nothing wrong with your love-making. Just exactly what are you trying to find out?” The man replied that they weren't trying to find out anything.
Puzzled, the doctor asked him what he meant. He then responded, saying:
“She’s married and we can’t go to her house. I’m married and we can’t go to my house. The Holiday Inn charges $90. The Hilton charges $108. We do it here for $50… and I get $43 back from Medicare."
In this final story, a woman was in for the surprise of her life as she laid dying in bed. As her husband sat at his dying wife's side, she decided to confess something to him that caught him off guard. In a voice that was just a little more than a whisper, she said: "Peter, darling, I have a confession to make before I go..."
Peter nodded, assuring his wife that he was all ears. She then proceeded to tell him all the things she plotted against him: "I'm the one who took $10,000 from your safe. I spent it on a fling I had with your best friend, June."
Her husband looked unfazed, so she continued on with her confession: "It was I who forced your mistress to leave the city. And I'm the one who reported your income tax evasion to the government."
After the woman finished, Peter smiled, shaking his head. He then said: "Don't give it a second thought, sweetheart. Who do you think gave you the poison?"
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