A Woman Agreed to Go on a Blind Date

A woman had agreed to go on a blind date, but she was nervous that she wouldn’t like the man, so she called her best friend beforehand.

“Hi Sarah, listen I only have a minute,” she said. “I’m about to get picked up for a blind date, can you call me in a half hour just in case it’s going bad?”

THE MUTUALLY BAD DATE

The woman’s friend agreed, and so she gave herself a quick spray of perfume, checked herself out one more time in the mirror and headed outside to wait for her date.

The man picked her up, and they headed to a restaurant. Sure enough, after twenty minutes the woman was discreetly checking her watch. After ten more minutes, her phone finally buzzed.

She listened for a few seconds, grimly pursed her lips and turned to her date: “I feel terrible, but my grandmother is terribly sick, and I must go home now.”

The date grinned before saying: “No problem! In a few more minutes my dog was going to get run over!”

HEAVEN

Another story that will make you laugh is about a woman who died and went to heaven. Read the full story below:

A woman has a heart attack. Sadly she dies and goes to heaven, where she comes face to face with God.

“Am I dying?” she asks him.

“No,” God replies. “You will live for another 40 years, two months and eight days.”

Instantly she snaps back to life and, after her near-death experience, vows to make the most of her life.

She changes the color of her hair, gets a facelift and even has a tummy tuck.

After her final surgery, she walks out and gets hit by a car and dies. When she goes back to heaven and meets God again, she’s steaming.

“What was that!?” she asks.

“What?” God responds, “You died.”

“You said I would live another 40 years!”

“Oh.” God thought for a while… “I didn’t recognize you.”

Source: Starts at 60