Ricki Lake Opens up about the Grief She Suffered after Her Ex-Husband's Tragic Death

Ricki Lake spoke in a new interview about the hard battle she had to fight against depression after losing her ex-husband Christian Evans.

The 50-year-old star revealed how difficult it was to recover from the "real depression" that she went through after Evans committed suicide in 2017, and only recently can she say with certainty that she has been able to get out of there.

"It's a miracle, but I really feel on the other side," Lake told People magazine.

The talk show host married Evans in 2012 and revealed that living her marital life with him was a struggle from the start since her then-new husband began to show signs of suffering from bipolar disorder.

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7 years ago today, I married my beloved #christianevans in #montesito at the magical #sanysidroranch. 1 year ago on this day, I got my first tattoo from Christian’s dear friend and insanely talented tattoo artist @freddy_negrete . I stood in the very spot on our anniversary where Christian spent multiple hours getting his bodywork over many years. It was profound, and healing. After Christian passed away on 2/11/17 , I found among his things that he had saved a draft of his wedding vows to me. He only had one sentence on the page, ‘I vow to continue loving you.’ Those words are perfect as a reminder that he is always with me and loving me wherever he is, and also a reminder to always love myself. #neverforget #bipolar #mentalhealthawareness #suicideprevention #loveiseternal #Ilovemyselfthewayhelovedme ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

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"It was like living with Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde," explained Lake. "I wanted to save him, but I couldn’t."

Lake divorced the jewelry designer in 2015, however, the friendship ties between the couple continued and she stayed close with her ex in many ways because she knew how hard it was for him to live with his condition.

"I still supported him," Ricki said, "financially and emotionally."

But the suicide of her ex-husband two years after their divorce was a very hard emotional blow for the actress and although she struggled to face the sadness that she felt for the tragic loss, for a long time she thought that she couldn’t overcome it.

"For a long time, I didn't think I'd ever feel happy again," Lake admitted during the magazine interview.

Thanks to the experience she had with her ex, Lake has always been willing to talk about her struggles against depression and sadness. “There were days when I couldn’t get out of bed, and that is a very scary place to be. I’m such a positive person, and to not feel like that was paralyzing.”

The documentary filmmaker needed the help of her loved ones and therapy to recover. This along with her work with Bring Change to Mind, an organization that aims to alter the stigmata of mental illness, Lake finally began to feel better.

One of the biggest signs of her recovery came in February when Lake revealed that she had "found love again" with the founder of One Golden Thread clothing company, Jeff Scult.

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This is what happy looks like. ❤️

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Regarding this new relationship, the actress said: "He's making me really happy; we've been together for three-and-a-half months. We met through a mutual friend."

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