April 24, 2019
As Summer rolls around, many of us will be thinking about getting into our best bikini bodies and wondering how we'll be able to continue enjoying all the delicious desserts while staying slim.
One such man was told to lose 75 pounds for the sake of his health and was desperately searching for a solution when he came upon an ad in the local newspaper.
The ad read "Guaranteed Weight Loss Program."
"Guaranteed like heck," he says to himself. "But let's see what they think they can do."
He calls them on the phone and subscribes to the "3 days, 10pounds" weight loss program and then proceeds to enjoy a big meal.
The next day, there came a knock at his door. He opens the door and finds before him a voluptuous, athletic 19-year-old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nikes and a sign hanging around her neck.
She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company. The sign reads, "If you can catch me, you can have me."
Well, without a second thought he takes off after her. A few miles later, huffing and puffing, he finally catches her and has his way with her.
After they are through he kisses the girl one last time and thinks to himself with a nod, I like the way this company does business.
For the next two days, the same girl shows up and the same thing happens each time. On the fourth day, he weighs himself and, sure enough, he has lost 10 pounds.
Deciding that he likes his somewhat more slender physique, not to mention the method of treatment, he calls the company back and subscribes to their "5 days, 20 pounds" weight loss program.
He thinks that losing 20 pounds in only 5 days seems like a lot, but he is intrigued by what their workout schedule might be like this time.
As expected, the next day there comes a knock at his door. When he answers it there stands a 22-year-old knockout dressed in nothing but a pair of Reeboks and a sign hanging around her neck.
She is simply stunning, in fact, the most beautiful woman he has ever seen. She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company.
The sign reads, "If you can catch me, you can have me." He's out the door like a shot. This gal is in excellent shape and it takes a while to catch her. But when he does, it is worth every cramp and wheeze.
She is wonderful, the best he has ever had. He is really looking forward to the next four days. The same girl shows up every day and the same thing happens each time, much to his delight.
On the sixth day, he weighs himself and, unbelievably, he has lost another 20 pounds.
"I love this company," he says to himself, "I never knew losing weight could be so easy and so much fun."
Feeling much better about himself, he decides to go for broke and subscribe to the companies "7 days, 50 pounds" weight loss program.
"Are you sure, sir?" asks the representative on the phone. "This is our most rigorous program."
"Absolutely," says he, "I love your program. haven't felt this good in years!"
The next day there comes a knock at his door and he enthusiastically answers it. There stands before him a 200-pound perfect specimen of a man dressed in nothing but racing spikes and a sign around his neck.
He introduces himself as a representative of the weight loss company. The sign reads,
"If I can catch you, I can have you."
While this is just a funny story, it does reflect the desperation many people face with regards to losing weight and feeling the need to take drastic measures to reach their goal.
TLC show "My 600-Lb Life" recently showcased their first ever overweight transgender female, Destinee LaShaee, whose personal journey in self-identification led her to an obsession with food.
The 27-year-old African American woman lost 200 pounds while on the program and has been celebrating her weight loss ever since.