What Common Did to Reconcile with Daughter after She Accused Him of Abandonment
Common admits his daughter had a point when she accused him of not fighting hard enough for her. The rapper opened up about this and how he felt the night he received a phone call from his daughter and learned her truth.
In one of his most revealing interviews yet, Common opened up about his relationship with his daughter and how she confronted him in the past for abandoning her.
The 47-year-old rapper sat down on the “red table” of Jada Pinkett-Smith, Adrienne Banfield-Norris and Willow Smith in light of the release of his book, “Let Love Have the Last Word.”
"It shook me for a minute. I was like, ‘What are you talking about?'"
Common promoting his book, "Let Love Have the Last Word," at Barnes and Noble on May 7, 2019 at 5th Avenue, New York City. | Source: Getty Images
"IT SHOOK ME FOR A MINUTE"
Among other things, Common discussed the emotions that went through him after his daughter, Omoye called him out for his imperfections as a father. He recalled getting a phone call from her at 2 am wanting to talk and his first instinct was to tell her he’d call her back because he was filming the next day. This led Omoye to set him straight.
“She called me right back like, ‘Yo, you don’t even care. You ain’t even see where I was at,’” Common told the hosts of “Red Table Talk.”
“And it really, it shook me for a minute. I was like, ‘What are you talking about? I do care.’ And her mother and I weren’t together.”
That was when Omoye began to tell him her frustrations about him, particularly, his absence in her life.
“It made me feel defensive. I was hurt and I was mad too. I was like, ‘You really believe some of this stuff.’”
Common and his daughter Omoye Assata Lynn attending the premiere of New Line Cinema's "Barbershop: The Next Cut" at the TCL Chinese Theatre on April 6, 2016 in Hollywood. | Source: Getty Images
"ONE OF THOSE THE HEAVENS OPEN MOMENTS"
“Eventually, that conversation turned into her saying you weren’t there for me, you didn’t fight for me as a father,” the Grammy Award winner said.
“It made me feel defensive. I was hurt and I was mad too. I was like, ‘You really believe some of this stuff.’”
However, Common realized she had a point.
“What I really learned, after I got past my own ego, I said, ‘Look, you right, I didn’t fight.’ And I had to acknowledge that. I just need to listen to her because this is what she’s feeling. No matter what I think I’ve done and this and that, this is how she feels. And that was one of those the heavens open moments and how to apply love more.”
I’m a caring individual but I had to get past just providing and protecting because love is a action word
Common and daughter Omoye Assata Lynn attending the premiere of "Barbershop: The Next Cut" at the TCL Chinese Theatre on April 6, 2016 in Hollywood. | Source: Getty Images
"I HAD TO GET PAST JUST PROVIDING AND PROTECTING"
Common attributed his lack of trying to be a bigger part of his daughter’s life to his own upbringing without a father. Growing up, he said his idea of a father was merely a provider and protector.
“I didn’t grow necessarily with my father, right? So a lot of ways I learned to be a man is from my homies and other father figures. And the provide and protect are the two most important things we learn. And I’m a caring individual but I had to get past just providing and protecting because love is a action word. That type of understanding and just paying attention is what we weren’t equipped with…”
"You can tell your dad whatever you need to tell him and the love is going to be there.”
"SHE FELT LIBERATED AND FREE"
Common is grateful his daughter opened up to him because it strengthened their relationship.
“Once she was able to put it out, she felt liberated and free. And now, she’s more secure in the fact that you can tell your dad whatever you need to tell him and the love is going to be there.”
He also revealed they went to therapy together especially since his book was about to come out. “She was smart about it. She was like, ‘Dad, before this book come out we need to resolve this.’” Common said of the young woman who recently graduated from Howard University.
“She was like did this really happen to you? I was like, ‘Yeah.’ And that’s when she started processing."
"I REALLY AM PROUD OF YOU"
Part of what Common talks about in his book is his childhood when he was molested. When asked on the show how his daughter reacted to that revelation, Common said she was very supportive.
“She was like did this really happen to you? I was like, ‘Yeah.’ And that’s when she started processing. and she said, ‘I really am proud of you.’ When your daughter tell you she’s proud of you, you feel that.”
Omoye was born in 1997 to Common’s former girlfriend, a woman named Kim Jones. His daughter’s arrival coincided with his third album, “One Day It’ll All Make Sense” and the rapper even dedicated one song to her, “Retrospect for Life.” It featured Lauryn Hill and spoke of the hard times he went through while preparing for Omoye’s birth.
"After sorting his relationship patterns with a therapist, he learned he had an addiction to love which waned after the honeymoon stage is over."
"I WOULD LIKE TO BE A HUSBAND"
While his relationship with daughter today is something he can already be proud of, Common can’t say the same for his personal relationships with other women. In fact, he told the hosts of “Red Table Talk” that after sorting his relationship patterns with a therapist, he learned he had an addiction to love which waned after the honeymoon stage is over. This is the reason why his relationships never led to marriage.
“For a long time I was in and out with that, like ‘Do I really want to be a husband, or am I doing this because this is what society says to me?’ Now I think I just want that partnership."
Common and then-girlfriend Angela Rye attending the "ACLU SoCal Hosts Annual Bill of Rights Dinner" at the Beverly Wilshire Four Seasons Hotel on December 3, 2017 in Beverly Hills. | Source: Getty Images
Eternally single, Common hopes to settle down one day and was honest to admit he’s now at the point of his life where he wants to be a husband.
“I would like to be a husband,” he said. “For a long time I was in and out with that, like ‘Do I really want to be a husband, or am I doing this because this is what society says to me?’ Now I think I just want that partnership, to be able to experience life where I’m growing as a human being, and kind of just spark each other.”
Common’s last girlfriend was Angela Rye and while that didn’t work out, there were recent rumors suggesting they reconciled. However, there has been no confirmation from the former lovers so it’s unclear where that relationship stands for now.