Annoying Big Shot Businessman Who Had to Spend a Week in Hospital Gets One Upped by His Nurse

Laughter is the best medicine; it even exercises your facial muscles. So for today’s dose of funny, those muscles can get a workout with two jokes that focus on those who take care of us when we need it most: nurses.

PAYBACK

A patient in hospital with arms folded and in a bad mood. | Source: Shutterstock.

A patient in hospital with arms folded and in a bad mood. | Source: Shutterstock.

A bigshot businessman had to spend a week in the hospital. While usually a very busy man, the need for a sudden hospital stay annoyed him greatly.

The nurses bore the brunt of his annoyance, and he ordered them around as if he paid their salary.

After the second day, none of the hospital staff wanted anything to do with him. The next day the head nurse walked into his room with calm determination.

“I have to take your temperature,” she announced. Several minutes of complaining followed, but the nurse remained steadfast until he eventually settled down and opened his mouth.

With a raised eyebrow, the nurse said, “No, I’m sorry, but for this reading, I can’t use an oral thermometer.”

A medical professional holding a thermometer. | Source: Shutterstock.

A medical professional holding a thermometer. | Source: Shutterstock.

Another round of protest ensued, but again, the nurse remained adamant until the man rolled over and bared his bottom. 

After he felt that the nurse insert the thermometer, she said, “I have to get something. Now you stay JUST LIKE THAT until I get back!"

The man cursed under his breath when the nurse left without closing the door as people walked passed laughing. Almost an hour later, the man’s doctor walked into the room.

“What is going on here?” the doctor asked. Embarrassed and angry, the man replied, "What's the matter, Doc? Haven't you ever seen someone having their temperature taken before?"

“Yes,” the doctor said. “But not with a daffodil!”

A bunch of daffodils. | Source: Shutterstock.

A bunch of daffodils. | Source: Shutterstock.

WISHFUL THINKING

A nursing assistant, a floor nurse, and a charge nurse from a small private clinic had almost finished their lunch break when a strange lady walked into the break room.

Dressed in a fancy hat and wearing large polished-stone jewelry, she announced, “I am Gina the Great. I have come to thank you for the great care you took in looking after my aunt, so now I will grant you the next three wishes!”

To convince them of her powers, she gave a wave of her hand, and a table with the most delectable treats appeared in a puff of smoke. Upon seeing this, the nurses quickly turned to each other in discussion.

After they decided who goes first, the nursing assistant said, “I wish I had a marvelous beach house in Mexico, where gorgeous men can’t wait to tend to my every need.” With a puff of smoke, the nursing assistant was gone.

A genie lamp on the shore. | Source: Shutterstock.

A genie lamp on the shore. | Source: Shutterstock.

“I wish I had a chateau in the French countryside where handsome chefs fed me decadent treats and whispered sweet nothings in my ear while I lazily sipped on the best wines in the world.” With a puff of smoke, she too was gone.

The lady turned to the charge nurse and asked, “What would you like to wish for?”

She smiled and said, “I want those two ambitious nurses back on the floor at the end of the lunch break!”

In a similar joke related to the medical field, a man found out during his doctor’s visit how thin the line between reality and perception can be.

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