June 08, 2020
When children go to school, their exposure to different things combined with craftiness can lead to very funny situations, as the following daily jokes so nicely illustrate.
DO THE MATH
When David's report card showed that he failed math for the fourth time, his parents decided to send him to a Catholic school. David refused to learn math, and with his mom and dad at wit's end, they hoped it would help.
His parents waited curiously for David to return from his first day at the new school, and when he did, the storming upstairs and slamming of the door didn't come as too much of a surprise. Nonetheless, they went to go check up on him and hear how his day went.
"How did the first day go, son? Are you ok?" David's mom asked. "Fine!" David replied as he sat at his desk, doing his homework. His mom and dad looked at each astonished. They usually had to beg David to do his homework.
However, they decided to wait and see what happens, so when David received his first report card at his new school, his parents were even more surprised that David received an A+ for math.
"We are so proud of you!" His parents said. "But how do they teach math at the new school David?"
With big eyes, David looked from his dad to his mom and back again before he replied, "When I entered the classroom, the teacher kept an example of a guy nailed to a plus sign at the back of the room, so I knew they weren't messing around."
TO DO, OR NOT TO DO
One afternoon Claire came home and ran straight to her mom and said, "Mommy! The teacher punished me for something I didn't do today!"
Claire's mom frowned, upset that her daughter had been treated unfairly and said, "I'm sorry my darling, mom will go speak to the teacher and make sure it doesn't happen again. What did she accuse you of doing?"
Matter-of-factly, Claire replied, "My homework."
WHEN THINGS CAN BE WORSE
When Jake didn't come down for breakfast, his dad went to his room to shake him out of bed. Instead, his dad was surprised by a tidy and empty room with a letter propped up on the pillow on his bed.
Slight trepidation took hold of the dad as he opened the letter that contained a hefty amount of writing. "Dear Dad, it is with great regret that I'm writing to you like this, but I had no other option," Jake's letter began.
Jake explained that he and Stacy, with whom he found love and passion, eloped. They had to marry in secret because Jake knows how his parents feel about tattooed and pierced motorcycle girls.
However, Jake went on to tell his father in the letter that they also had to get married because Stacy is pregnant. Because she is so much older than him, she has a trailer in the woods where they will now live and raise the many children they hope to have one day.
The further Jake's dad read, the angrier he became until he got to the final sentence of the letter. "Everything I wrote about came from my imagination. I'm actually over at Jedd's house, and I just wanted to make sure you knew that there are worse things in life than the results on my school report card. Let me know when it's safe to come home."
Children sure get craftier as they get older, but when they are still small, and around kindergarten age, kids can have copious amounts of creative thoughts fueled by their active unbridled imaginations.
In a related daily joke, it became clear why a kindergarten classroom makes an excellent place for the birth of a wonder world and the funniest of stories.
February 20, 2020