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Daily Joke: Freshman Qualifies for the College Football Team

Laura Beatham
Jul 03, 2021
09:10 P.M.
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Today's jokes are all about football, including a freshman trying out for the college team, a couple who went on a date to a football game, and two friends discussing the possibility of football in heaven.

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QUALIFYING FOR THE FOOTBALL TEAM

A college freshman tried out for the college football team. The coach wanted to see if he would be fit for the team, so he asked the freshman a couple of questions to evaluate his skills.

"Can you run fast?" asked the coach. In response, the freshman ran the length of the field in under 30 seconds. The coach was very impressed, so he asked a second question, "Can you tackle?"

A football on a field. | Photo: Pixabay/Oliver Cardall

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In response, the freshman tackled a large dead tree at the end of the field and turned it to sawdust. "Wow, now that was a brilliant tackle," exclaimed the coach, "but can you pass the ball?"

The freshman thought about the coach's question for a moment and then said, "Well, if I swallowed it, I am sure I would be able to pass the ball."

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A DATE TO THE FOOTBALL GAME

One day a man decided to take his girlfriend, who did not know anything about football, to a football game. The couple had really great seats, right behind their team's bench. After the game, the man asked his girlfriend if she enjoyed it.

"Oh, I really loved it," the woman said. "All the tight pants and big muscles. But I could not understand why they were all fighting and killing over 25 cents." The boyfriend was dumbfounded and asked, "Uh, babe, what do you mean?"

The girlfriend responded, "Well, at the beginning of the game, they tossed up a coin, and one team got it. Then for the rest of the game, they kept screaming, "Get the quarterback, Get the quarterback," and I'm just like, it is only 25 cents!"

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HEAVEN FOOTBALL

One day, two avid football fans, Mark and Frank, were discussing the latest game and who they thought would win the season when Mark asked Frank, "Hey, do you think there's football in Heaven?"

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Frank responded, "I'm not sure, but let's make a promise that whoever dies first will find out if there's football in heaven and then tell the other who's still alive." Mark agreed to the promise.

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Unfortunately, a few weeks later, Frank passed away. Mark was miserable and went to their favorite pub to remember his late friend. He then heard Frank say, "Hey Mark, it is me, Frank."

Mark said, "You have to tell me, is there football in Heaven?

Frank said, "Well, I have good news and bad news."

"Well, come on, tell me then." Mark urged.

"The good news is, there is football in Heaven. But the bad news is, you're playing defense on Friday."

Sources: Reddit, Upjoke

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