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Source: instagram.com/thevintageparents

49-Year-Old Mom Adopts a Child, Gets Called 'Selfish' and Told She's Too Old for It

Ayesha Muhammad
May 06, 2022
09:00 P.M.
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When a woman in her late forties decided to adopt a child, she never thought how wonderful and fulfilling the experience would be. Sadly, sharing her motherhood joys with the world brought along unwelcoming surprises. 

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Parenthood is an incredibly beautiful journey that completes people in ways they never thought possible. Every family is special and unique in their own way, whether they conceive a child naturally or choose adoption to feel whole. 

Sometimes, societal pressures and ancient norms might compel people to refrain from experiencing motherhood or fatherhood. Other times, individuals might face criticism for settling down or starting a family later in life. 

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It is pertinent to understand that age is just a number, and life's unpredictability defies age, health, and other factors that might be used as strong determinants otherwise. Moreover, everyone's life and circumstances vary, and so do their timelines. 

Interestingly, Kris Monsour's story encapsulates a similar theme. The woman from Canal Winchester, Ohio, had always yearned to be a mother and spent more than ten years trying to get pregnant. 

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THE YEARNING TO BECOME A MOTHER

When nothing worked, Monsour said she considered using IVF and other routes during her first marriage, but her marriage ended abruptly before she could go through with the process. 

However, things changed for the Ohio woman when she met her present husband, Clay, who shared the same desire to start a family. Fortunately, the couple got pregnant very quickly, but a piece of tragic news soon overshadowed their happiness. 

However, according to recent research printed in "The European Journal of Developmental Psychology," children of older mothers are said to have fewer behavioral, social, and emotional difficulties. 

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THE STRUGGLE WAS REAL

Sadly, the couple lost the baby as Monsour had a miscarriage at the three-month mark. The woman further explained:

"A doctor ended up basically telling me that I should just stop trying and that I was never going to be a mother. It was a huge gut punch, but I was determined to focus on my job."

Monsour's decade-long motherhood journey was filled with endless trials and tribulations. She was on the brink of drowning in a cycle of trauma, anxiety, and despair when something remarkably unexpected happened one day.

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A SURPRISING MESSAGE

In 2019, Monsour received a surprising text message from her cousin that changed her life forever. She was 48 at the time and had gone through multiple miscarriages. A part of her had also come to terms with the knowledge that motherhood was not in her cards. 

Much to Monsour's astonishment, her cousin, who was recovering from addiction, told her she was expecting and asked her if she would like to adopt the baby. 

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BRINGING HER DAUGHTER HOME

The news came her way most unexpectedly, but Monsour and Clay agreed to take in the child without any hesitation. Regarding the life-altering experience, Monsour revealed: 

"We were there every step of the way during the pregnancy and the birth. We were there for the ultrasound, and at the hospital when she [the baby] was born, I even got to cut the cord."

The couple came to the hospital with a strong urge and longing to become parents and left holding a baby girl, Ainsley, in their arms. From then onwards, things moved smoothly, and Monsour and Clay adopted Ainsley in March 2020. 

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The first-time mom shared that the adoption process was lengthy and strenuous and involved endless checks and visits to the social service. She further added that the overall adoption process cost around $19,500 altogether. 

However, Monsour, who works as an executive insurance director, expressed that the long waiting period and everything she felt and endured to have Ainsley in her life were worth it, and she wouldn't have it any other way. 

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SHARING HER MOTHERHOOD JOURNEY

Monsour is now 51 and a happy mother to an adorable two-year-old toddler. She has been sharing her motherhood journey on her TikTok and Instagram page titled "The Vintage Parents." In one of her TikTok videos, she summed up her parental struggles. The caption said: 

"Being told at 41, after my latest miscarriage, that I would never be a mom and to 'accept my fate.'"

The second half of the same video showed a delightful Monsour affectionately cradling her baby girl, and the caption read: "me at 51 with my two-year-old."

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RECEIVING NEGATIVE COMMENTS

The TikTok mom's channel has racked up 9.4 million likes, and her videos amass several thousands of views and comments from netizens. Sadly, the comment section is filled with positive and negative remarks. 

Monsour has faced terrible online shaming from trolls who called her "selfish" for becoming a mother at an advanced age and told her she would most likely die before her daughter grows up. Others bashed her for adopting a baby so late in life. 

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While Monsour shares the negative comments on her TikTok from time to time, she often resorts to a light-hearted approach while addressing her critics. In a TikTok video, she gave a glimpse into the horrific online remarks she's received. One comment read:

"You are going to die before she graduates. Selfish!"

Another one said: "She's just trying to fill a void because she couldn't have her own children." But through it all, the only thing that has kept Monsour going is her never-ending love for her daughter. 

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POSITIVE FEEDBACK

In addition to the nasty comments, the doting mom has also received positive feedback, appreciation, and love from the netizens. One person wrote: 

"You gave a child a chance at the life they deserve. Where there’s a will, there’s a way!"

A second one added: "I am proud that you are a great mother. And the love in your daughter's eyes is priceless." Monsour's story sheds light on a highly significant issue — the stigma around older women embracing motherhood.

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RESEARCH FINDINGS

However, according to recent research printed in "The European Journal of Developmental Psychology," children of older mothers are said to have fewer behavioral, social, and emotional difficulties. 

The research suggests that older women tend to punish their kids less by verbal or physical methods. They are also said to be more patient and offer the same to their kids. Monsour's case might be odd to some, but it's beautiful nonetheless. 

The ecstatic mom shared she plans to tell Ainsley about her adoption when she deems it suitable. Moreover, she mentioned that she is ignoring the online trolls and is choosing to focus on her motherhood journey and being the best possible mom to her baby girl. 

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Monsour donates all her social media earnings to Fairfield Foster Closet, a charity that provides foster kids and adopted kids with free clothing. If this phenomenal mother's journey inspired you, please share her story with your loved ones. 

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