I Blamed My Dad Who Raised Me Strictly & Made Me Study Hard, Today I’m Rich, Happy & Grateful – Story of the Day

I blamed my father for tough parenting and forcing me to study hard. I even despised him for being strict at times. But now, at 35, I have nothing but praise for him...

"Being youthful is all about mindset, Darren. Don't limit yourself."

Those words will remain with me forever. My father used to say those lines to me whenever I blamed him for making my life hell with his strict rules.

"That's easy for you to say, dad," I'd answer. "Your friends don't call you a loser. Nobody laughs at you when you walk into class every day! I won't be this young again, dad. I want to enjoy my life like my friends."

"Darren," my father would say softly. "If they make fun of you because you're doing good, they're not your true friends. I won't be there for you all your life. Everything I'm doing is for your good."

I was 15 at the time. Young, enthusiastic, free-spirited, and ready to discover the world. But my father insisted that I only study. To be more specific, study, eat, and sleep. Yes, that summed up my entire adolescent and college years.

At one time, I felt like I was a lab rat, and my father was the scientist testing his "success" strategies on me.

He wouldn't allow me to go out with my friends or play video games very often. Saturday night dinner involved debates over my test results, and my performance was examined more frequently than Dad's blood sugar. He has diabetes.

Fortunately, I graduated from high school as a top student and from university with magna-cum-laude. By 35, I had built a profitable business, a lovely family consisting of my gorgeous wife, Lauren, and two adorable children, Jack and Patrick, and a lovely home. But something was missing. Something didn't seem quite right.

One night, I invited dad home for dinner. As soon as he arrived, I heard loud noises coming from Jaden and Patrick's room. I walked into their room and saw them arguing over a computer game.

"You're a loser, Jaden!" Patrick yelled. "You're a cheater! You would never have won if you hadn't cheated!"

"It's not my fault you're stupid, Patrick! Get the hell out of here!" Jaden yelled.

"Guys!" I said in a whisper. "Grandad's home. Shhh…."

Every parent wants the best for their children.

"Is he?" Patrick and Jaden both flushed. They feared Dad more than I feared him.

Suddenly, Dad came into their room.

"Is that how you're raising your boys? This is disappointing, Dareen!" he declared.

"Hey, dad, calm down, OK?" I said.

"You should keep a closer eye on your kids. This is not how I raised you!" he grumbled.

Well, my parenting style has been very different from Dad's. I gave my children complete independence, never pushed them, and always provided them with the best. Their arguing didn't make me a bad parent. I felt offended by what Dad said.

"OK, dad, look," I told him flatly. "They are MY children. I know what is best for them. And what's the big deal if two brothers argue about a video game? They are children! It's very natural!"

"Darren, you are..."

"No, dad. That is enough!" I said rather loudly, and Lauren came running to the room. "This is it, dad. Let's be clear about one thing today. I've been holding it in for a very long time…"

"Darren, honey," Lauren intervened. She had sensed the tension in the air and was trying to diffuse it. "Let's eat dinner, OK? It's ready. Dad has come home after so long…"

But dad stopped her. "No, Lauren. Let him talk. My son has something to say to me, and I'd like to hear it."

"Of course, you should, dad. I DON'T WANT YOU TO DESTROY MY KIDS' LIVES. You ruined my youth, and that was enough. Let them enjoy and live their lives, dad! Please!"

"DARREN! ENOUGH!" Lauren told me stiffly.

Dad was silent. Then he said, "I think I should leave, but keep this with you…" He gave me an envelope that contained an invitation to my college reunion the next day. The college had sent it to my Dad's house because they didn't have my new address.

"After meeting your friends and college mates, you'll change your mind," he told me.

After that, Dad left. He didn't have dinner. I felt bad. Yes, I was too harsh on him, but a part of me felt satisfied. I had bottled up my frustration for far too long.

Anyway, when I arrived at the reunion the next day, I got the shock of my life. I felt out of place. Most of the people I thought were "cool" back in college days were now struggling.

"I can't afford to have children," one of them said. "This inflation is killing me."

"Same here, man," another added. "We're living off our savings and credit cards…I lost the job, and my wife is sick…Kids are still in school. I don't know how I'll manage."

"Hey, hey, guys, let's chill, OK," I said to lighten the tense mood of the environment. "How about we all plan a trip together? It'll be a good change from the hectic life."

"I'm out, Darren. I can't afford that," said one of my friends.

"Same, man…" someone else said. And slowly, most of them refused me. That's when I remembered my dad's words.

"After meeting your friends and college mates, you'll change your mind."

I called Dad as soon as I got back to my car. "Hey, dad, are you free?"

"Is the event over?" he asked.

"Yes," I said.

"Come over. Let's have some wine," he said.

I drove to my dad's house, and we had a heartfelt conversation that day. "Darren, you have no idea how much I cursed myself for being so harsh with you, but I didn't want you to destroy your future. Perhaps I should have balanced being strict and lenient," he said.

"My father came from nothing, and he abandoned my mother and me," he went on. "We slept on the streets and ate from garbage cans...That was a bad life. I didn't want you to be in pain. Today, you're in a good position, and I'm glad. Sorry for not letting you live the way you wanted."

"No, dad," I murmured as I hugged him tightly. I was sobbing like a baby. "You are the reason I am successful today. It's all thanks to you."

"Silly boy," he said, laughing. "It's because you worked so hard. Your efforts paid off. This success is entirely yours! And, yeah, your children...raise them the way you want. I was wrong to interfere. I'm sorry..."

Dad never took credit for my success, though he was the one behind it. I'm not sure what you would do in my position, but I now only have praise for my father.

What can we learn from this story?

• Every parent wants the best for their children. Darren's father had seen some truly awful days in his life and didn't want Darren to go through the same, which is why he brought Darren up so strictly.
• Don't put too much pressure on your child. Darren felt suffocated by his father's parenting style and began to despise him at one point. In the end, his father realized he should have tried to strike a balance between being strict and lenient. So, be gentle with yourself and your child.

Share this story with your friends. It might brighten their day and inspire them.

If you enjoyed this story, you might like this one about a man whose twin brother stole his share of the inheritance and begged him for help 35 years later.

This piece is inspired by stories from the everyday lives of our readers and written by a professional writer. Any resemblance to actual names or locations is purely coincidental. All images are for illustration purposes only. Share your story with us; maybe it will change someone's life. If you would like to share your story, please send it to info@amomama.com.