Paula from 'An Officer and a Gentleman' Looks Different at 68 & Lives Privately on Farm with Spouse after Hiatus

• Debra Winger, best known for her role as Paula in "An Officer and a Gentleman," was a crowd favorite for years thanks to her onscreen romance with Richard Gere.
• At 40, the actress took a hiatus from acting to focus on her family after remarrying. Now 68, she lives a great life with a man who adores her and makes the most out of her time with her adult sons.
• The star looks different nowadays, sporting gray hair. Despite her age, Debra still enjoys life with family and fussing over movie scripts – just the way she likes it.

Debra Winger had to fight her way to become a successful actress, having to go through several challenges before finally making it. She fell in love with the craft when she was in high school, but she kept her passion from her family for fear they would ridicule her.

A reason for keeping her passion a secret might have been influenced by something that happened when she was 14. Her father installed a burglar alarm for director George Cukor and told him his daughter wanted to become an actress.

Cukor looked at Winger and said, "That voice and you got no walk, and you got no class!" At the time, Winger believed her father had conspired with Cukor to discourage her from pursuing a career in the industry.

Years later, in college, she majored in criminology and worked part-time at a local amusement park. One day, she was thrown from a truck and suffered major injuries. For months, she was temporarily blind.

Going through something so difficult made Winger realize many things. While she was in the hospital, she promised herself she would pursue her passion for acting.

After making a full recovery, Winger dropped out of college and started acting. It wasn't easy; she had to settle for commercials and guest roles in the 1970s, including the likes of "Wonder Woman" and "Police Woman: Task Force: Part 1."

It wasn't until her role in "Urban Cowboy" that she started to enjoy fame. She won the role of Sissy, which even Michelle Pfeiffer once auditioned for.

The movie introduced her as a Hollywood sex symbol, and she is grateful to director James Bridge, who threatened to quit the film if the studio didn't cast her as Sissy. It was no way but up for Winger, who starred in two successive hits two years later, in 1982.

Winger voiced the throaty titular character, E.T. in "E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial," one of the highest-grossing films of all time. She also made a cameo in the film itself during the Halloween scene, where she wore a zombie mask and carried a poodle.

That same year, she starred in "An Officer and a Gentleman" alongside Richard Gere. The movie gave Winger her first Academy Award nomination and cemented her as a fan-favorite actress.

Winger's first Academy Award nomination would have been a great way to show director George Cukor that she made it, but the nomination was announced a couple of days after he passed away. She had proven herself to be a worthy actress, and one people were eager to work with thanks to her skill, charisma, and passion for acting.

Regardless, Winger's most famous doubter was still alive to see her become a star after "Urban Cowboy." Whether or not he was able to see the piece remains a mystery.

She Suddenly Disappeared from the Silver Screen

Winger was only 29 when she starred as Paula. Now, she is 68 and with years of Hollywood experience behind her.

In the 1980s, Winger was one of the most sought-after actresses in the industry, yet she also had a reputation for being difficult to work with. In fact, despite the success of "An Officer and a Gentleman," she did not get along with her co-star, Gere, or their director, Taylor Hackford.

After bagging her second Academy Award for "Terms of Endearment," which also won Best Picture, just a year after her first Academy Award, she turned down several roles and offers for three years.

People speculated her decision to turn down even the most lucrative offers was because of her relationship with Bob Kerrey, then-governor of Nebraska. Others assumed it may have been due to problems after suffering a bike fall.

Some of the famous films she turned down include "Raiders of the Lost Ark" in 1981, and one of the highest-grossing films of all time, "Fatal Attraction." She also declined "Peggy Sue Got Married," "Music Box," and "Broadcast News," which was written especially for her, and which went to Holly Hunter, who was nominated for an Academy Award.

Through these years, it wasn't only Winger's career that was making noise, but her personal life. In 1986, she was reported to have broken up with Bob Kerrey and instead eloped with actor Timothy Hutton. The following year, she gave birth to their son, Noah.

During her time with Hutton, Winger starred in "Black Widow" and acted alongside him in "Made in Heaven." She also starred in "Betrayed," which also featured a cameo of Hutton.

By 1988, the couple split, and their divorce was finalized two years later in 1990. It wasn't until a decade later that Winger gave love a second chance through Arliss Howard, whom she starred alongside on "Wilder Napalm" in 1993.

It was a physical attraction that Winger could not deny. When she shook her co-star's hand, she felt it going up her arm. "Come on! Oh no!" she thought.

At the time, the actress was convinced that living alone and staying single was something she'd do for the rest of her life. Little did she know she was standing face-to-face with her forever love.

In 1995, Winger made the bold decision to stop acting when she felt there were no good roles being offered to her. She decided to focus on her family and gave birth to another son, Babe Howard, in 1997.

At the time, Winger was made a poster child for the absence of quality female roles in Hollywood. A documentary was even made about it titled "Searching for Debra Winger."

The truth was, Winger just wanted to be a hands-on mom. During her children's early years, she would take them with her on set, but she wasn't fully present. That was something she wanted to change.

Six years later, she returned to acting in one of Howard's films, "Big Bad Love." She also co-produced the movie, and it ignited her passion for acting once more.

By the time she returned, there was a conflicting view of where she stood as an actress. While for some people she looked as fresh and gorgeous as ever, there were others who knew her as their "mother's favorite actress."

Whenever she wasn't acting, Winger was running her farm in upstate New York alongside her husband. "I don't like other people taking care of my things," she said about her active involvement in the farm.

While she accepted some roles through the years, she lived a rather quiet life away from the spotlight to raise her two sons and take care of her farm. Her most notable role since her hiatus was on "Rachel Getting Married," which bagged her a couple of award nominations.

Despite her skepticism about love when she first met her husband, and even until now, Winger has chosen to keep it simple. Her tips to keep a marriage fresh are to "stay awake, stay alive, keep loving, keep lit up, and keep being able to light up the other one."

In the same way that Winger loves her husband, Howard has nothing but praise for her, too. He knew since the beginning what it would mean to marry Winger.

In fact, their son's birth was a revelation to Howard about how uniquely funny and sexy Winger was. While going through contractions and seeing a group of people staring at her through a half-open door, she began to say: "In or out, in or out."

Howard then realized that the tougher a situation gets, the funnier Winger got. "And there's nothing sexier than a truly, deeply funny woman," he affirmed.

Throughout their two decades together, it hasn't always been easy. There were bad days – even days when they didn't feel married. However, they always expressed themselves to one another and communicated their differences.

Winger has acknowledged that she's not too easy to live with. She needs her family to remind her to lighten up and to have fun on some days.

The actress credits her husband for being "the greatest partner in the world." One time, she asked him the key to their relationship, and he said no matter what happens, he's "sticking."

Not only is Howard a loving and supportive partner, but he's also a present father to the children and a great help when it comes to house chores.

Winger may no longer have her gorgeous brunette locks, but she happily embraces the gray hair that's grown through the years. Her husband compliments her every day, and she feels lucky to have a husband who constantly tells her she looks great.

It's not just Howard who likes Winger's new look, but so do her fans and colleagues. They compliment her on social media, especially when she posts a new update for them.

Now, both Winger's children are adults. Her eldest, Emmanuel Noah, is 36 and a director, while her youngest, Babe, is 26 and an actor.

Winger is a caring, nurturing mother. Her son Noah credits her for being "a very good, very thoughtful mother." He even acknowledged what it took for her to care for her sons when they were young – he knew it was hard to commit to her work knowing she had a responsibility as a mother.

More than being loving and caring, Winger is her children's biggest fan. She has Noah's documentary link on her Instagram page bio so that anyone who comes across her page has the opportunity to click it.

While Winger has always been a hands-on mom, there were some times through the years when she also gave in to things she wanted to do. One was going to The Strip in Las Vegas with her kids during some free time on set.

She called her travel agent about her plan, and the travel agent gave her an honest scenario: "So, you're on an elevator at one of the kid-friendly hotels and then three, um, women step onto the elevator with your sons."

Hearing what the agent had to say, Winger no longer wanted to push through with the plan. "Okay, we're going to Henderson!" she concluded.

Living Her Best Life at 68

Decades later, Winger continues to care for her children, no matter where they are. On Instagram, her youngest son Babe wrote one of her mom's lines to him as his caption, saying: "Please try and eat something balanced tonight."

Whenever possible, she tries to get together with her entire family. They do all sorts of activities together, including hiking. Even when she's alone, she enjoys being in nature, taking trips to Central Park.

Winger still lives on her New York farm. She still does all the work herself, whether it's planting, watering, or working in the dirt. They recently also started to transition the farm towards using solar energy, and it's taken up a lot of her time.

When she's not farming, Winger is busy working on movies and her Netflix show, "The Ranch." In the same way that she was picky with the roles she accepted back in the 1980s, Winger still fusses over movie scripts in the present time. She only accepts projects she feels are worth her time, saying:

"I'm still looking to get my hands on something that feels like I'm flying. In a play, you can feel that in the moment. In a movie, you can still feel it between action and cut."

Despite the many things that have changed in Winger's life, one thing remains the same: she lives life as she pleases. She has always been, and will always be, authentic, raw, and unapologetically herself.