How Ina Garten Saved Her Five-Decade Marriage When It Was on the Verge of Divorce

As Ina Garten and her husband approach their 56th anniversary, the culinary icon called him the love of her life. But their journey hasn't always been smooth sailing — the couple once faced the possibility of divorce before finding their way back to each other.

Ina Garten, the beloved owner of Barefoot Contessa, built a celebrated career as a chef and TV personality, inspiring millions with her mouth-watering recipes and warm style. Behind her success has been her husband, Jeffrey Garten - her steadfast supporter for over five decades.

Yet, that very success once brought their marriage to the brink and created distance between them. Take a look at how the couple navigated these challenges and saved their relationship.

Inside a Loving Marriage

Ina and Jeffrey's love story began in 1963 when she was 15 and visited her brother at Dartmouth College. Jeffrey, a student there, saw her on the street and was so taken with her that he sent a letter and a photograph to her home.

"I just remember running through the house and going, 'Mom, Mom, you've got to see this picture of this guy. He's so cute!'" Ina recalled. In 1968, Ina and Jeffrey married, beginning a relationship filled with mutual respect and admiration.

Despite the traditional roles expected of married couples at the time, Jeffrey encouraged Ina to think beyond convention. In fact, Ina later credited him as "the first feminist" she ever knew, noting how he continually supported her ambitions and dreams.

This encouragement laid a foundation that allowed Ina to explore paths beyond the conventional role of a housewife, even when she found herself working in government.

Before her culinary fame, Ina took on a demanding role as a nuclear budget analyst at the Office of Management and Budget during the Carter administration. Jeffrey, who worked at the State Department, inspired Ina to pursue this career, believing in her potential.

Ina reflected on those years in her marriage, admitting that she felt she was growing up to be Jeffrey in a way, as she adapted to his world of government and politics. However, Ina realized that this path wasn't true to her passions, leading to a candid conversation with her husband about wanting a change.

She expressed her desire to pursue something more creative and fulfilling. The moment she decided to shift gears came when she saw an ad in The New York Times for a specialty food store for sale in Westhampton Beach, New York.

Even though buying the store meant a significant financial risk, Jeffrey supported her without hesitation, investing their savings into what would become the first step in Ina's culinary journey.

His willingness to back her decision to open Barefoot Contessa demonstrated his belief in her potential, laying the groundwork for a new chapter that would bring both challenges and growth.

Ina's Rise and the Fall of Their Marriage

Launching Barefoot Contessa was a monumental step, and Ina poured herself into building the store, which quickly gained popularity among locals and tourists alike. The business's success, however, came at a price.

Jeffrey accepted a prestigious position as Dean of the Yale School of Management, which required him to be based in Connecticut, while Ina continued her work in East Hampton.

Their new roles and locations created a physical distance that slowly extended into emotional separation. At the same time, Ina was redefining her sense of identity. She had stepped away from the expected duties of a traditional wife to become a businesswoman, focusing solely on making her store a success.

She later reflected that "traditional roles… really [annoyed]" her, as she sought independence and fulfillment beyond marriage. As her culinary venture expanded, she realized she was navigating life on her terms.

This shift, while empowering, strained her relationship with Jeffrey. During the week, they were miles apart, maintaining contact through phone calls, and weekends together became increasingly rare. Even when Jeffrey visited, Ina was preoccupied with her business, unable to fully focus on him.

Looking back, Ina admitted that the responsibilities of running a business left her no time to think about anything else. She revealed, "When Jeffrey came on weekends, he was a distraction. [...] I just wanted everyone to leave me alone so I could concentrate on the store."

Over time, the celebrity chef grew frustrated with the gender-based expectations in their marriage. Jeffrey's demanding career made him "fully formed" in his life, while she was still figuring out who she was.

Eventually, Ina considered a separation, wondering if the only way to achieve true independence was to leave the marriage altogether. In a difficult conversation, she expressed her desire for a break from their relationship, proposing a separation as a way to gain clarity.

Jeffrey, although saddened, supported her decision, packing his bags and returning to Washington. Ina channeled her energy into her work, hoping the space would provide the answers she was seeking.

Finding Their Way Back

One winter, Ina returned to D.C. and reunited with her husband. "Jeffrey met me at the [train] station, [...] we were caught between two worlds: the way it used to be when we were Ina and Jeffrey, and the sad way it was now. A painful limbo," she recalled.

Jeffrey asked her what he could do to mend their relationship, not understanding that his wife had doubts about whether their marriage could be saved at all.

Ina knew that he had done nothing wrong, but instead was only following the lead of the men that had come before him. However, she had changed, and could not be in a "traditional 'man and wife'" relationship anymore.

But in one final attempt, the celebrity chef suggested Jeffrey go see a therapist, hoping it would bridge the gap that had grown between them. Ina remembered being surprised at his immediate willingness, as she believed it was "as significant as anything that might happen during [their] session."

He spent just an hour in therapy but came away with a renewed understanding of Ina's need for equality and partnership. The time spent apart and Jeffrey's openness to change marked a turning point.

They began having open conversations about their relationship and took the time to listen to each other's concerns. With these honest discussions, they found common ground, agreeing to rebuild their marriage on a foundation of respect and shared goals.

Over the following months, Ina and Jeffrey learned to view each other as equal partners, working together to create a marriage that allowed them both the freedom they needed to thrive.

"[...] If we worked toward the same goal, we could change things together," Ina revealed. Over the years, they learned to prioritize their relationship despite the demands of their careers. Ina's culinary success continued to grow, leading to a cookbook dedicated to Jeffrey and a celebrated Food Network show.

Jeffrey remained her biggest fan, remarking, "We've had the good fortune of growing up together in a very compatible way. We're like two vines that grew and wrapped themselves around one another."

As they celebrated their 56th anniversary this year, Ina reflected on the journey they had taken together. Despite the challenges and moments of doubt, her admiration for Jeffrey remained strong. "I'm still just in awe of him," she said.

Ina and Jeffrey's decision not to have children was another element that significantly impacted their marriage. The couple felt their choice gave them more freedom to focus on each other, something Ina later acknowledged as essential to their relationship.

The iconic chef's choice was also shaped by her upbringing. In her memoir, "Be Ready When the Luck Happens," Ina revealed that she grew up in a troubled home, which influenced her views on family.

Raised in Stamford, Connecticut, Ina described her childhood as "horrible," scarred by the emotional and physical abuse she endured from her parents. That painful experience stayed with her as she grew older, solidifying her decision to remain child-free.

As for their lasting love, Ina revealed that she was "just getting started" in a sweet Instagram post in honor of her husband's birthday in 2021. "Happy Birthday to the love of my life! I've loved you for more than 50 years [...]," the post read in part.

"You have made him one happy man!!" a social media user commented on one of Ina's posts. "He's a lucky man!" another shared. A third wrote, "Aww yall are the sweetest couple ever."

Ahead of Valentine's Day this year, Ina gave her followers a romantic tidbit for the special occasion and shared in part on Instagram, "One of my rules for a romantic dinner: you need a great playlist! It makes the whole evening come together."

Jeffrey and Ina Garten's enduring marriage is a testament to their unwavering support, shared values, and commitment to growing together. From their early days of discovering each other to navigating independence and finding balance, they built a partnership grounded in mutual respect.