'For 4 Days, I Had to Be Trapped,' Tami Roman Opens up about Being Kidnapped, Held Hostage & Abused

Claudine Varela
Mar 13, 2019
07:42 A.M.

Tami Roman opened up for the first time about her troubled past in an episode of "Uncensored." The reality star revealed she was molested as a child, abused by her boyfriend and even kidnapped by abusive captors.


Tami Roman seems to have it all - a thriving career as an actress, reality star, television personality with a successful business. But what not many know is that she had a dark past riddled with sexual abuse, domestic violence, and a kidnapping incident. During a recent episode of TV One’s “Uncensored,” Tami opened up about it all.



Tami’s troubles began as early as she was eight years old while she was living with her mother who left her father due to infidelity. Forced to earn for a living, her mother would leave her to the care of her boyfriend who turned out to be a monster who took advantage of her. Tami recalled not being able to reconcile what was going on in her young age.

“It was unfortunate because at the time, I didn’t really understand what was happening to me at eight-years-old. I felt it was wrong. I felt I was wrong. I felt I was at fault, not understanding that it was something wrong with this individual.”


That episode ended after her mother decided to leave the man without any knowledge of the molestation. Tami says she never told her the truth until she was an adult.

“I didn’t tell my mom I had been molested until I was well into my late thirties. Because my mother’s the type of person—she doesn’t deal well with information like that. She’s going to find you and put you six feet under. I knew that if I had told her in her younger days, she was going to have a body on her head.”

It’s unclear to Tami if her mother retaliated after she learned the truth but she recalls the woman taking a trip to New York.

“I don’t know what happened. I’m unsure. He’s not on Facebook.”



While Tami managed to escape the man who took away her childhood, her troubles didn’t end there. She would later learn that being in love also came with blows and bruises. She lived with her boyfriend’s family upon the request of her mother who had to be away for work. During that time, her boyfriend would physically abuse her.

“Literally, every day I would come into the house, he would punch me in the face, try to fight me, try to beat me up. Every single day. And I didn’t want to tell my mom about it because I knew she was trying to collect checks so we could be back together. And I knew I just had to sit there and endure that.”

Finally, Tami decided to take matters into her own hands and find a job that would release her from the restraints of living in her boyfriend’s home. After saving enough checks she moved out and rented an apartment. It was the moment she realized she was a fighter.

“It wasn’t about fighting him back, it was about fighting for myself and fighting my way out of that situation.”



You’d think that with the abuses she’d been through there was no way Tami’s life could get any worse. But that wasn’t the case. While in a singing group, she and her friend suffered in the hands of abusive kidnappers. They were in their car getting gas when a couple of men went up to them, stole their money and jewelry and decided they wanted more. They took them to a warehouse where they were kept hostage for four days.

“So, for four days, I had to be trapped with this guy, my friend and I and sexually abused for four days—at his leisure,” Tami says.

“I’m telling these stories and I’m thinking, ‘you done been through some sh*t.’ I didn’t think that I would live through that. But in actuality, I had already lived through it. I had already lived through a moment of somebody sexually violating me. So it just became a moment of ‘Let him do and hopefully, he’ll let me go.’ And that’s ultimately what happened.”



Looking back, the "Basketball Wives" star credits her strong mother’s influence in helping her stay afloat amidst all the trials she went through.

“All I’ve ever seen is strength so I never wanted to appear like I had been broken down or that I have not fought through every situation. Because my mother was a very ‘Get over it and get on with it’ type of person. So that was my mentality. ‘Ok, I’m still here. Get over it and get on with it.’”



Tami carried on that mentality when she was faced with the dilemma of carrying a child at 23 years old. She famously had an abortion that was documented on MTV’s “The Real World.” Tami said at the time she wanted to be an example to others by showing them the painful journey of going through an abortion at that young age. She stressed this further in her “Uncensored” interview.

“I wanted to show people by example, be responsible! Because this is hard to go through. You don’t want to have to terminate your child. And also, you want to be with the person, in love with the person that you’re having this child with and I had none of that. So, for me, that was the decision that I made. And I wanted any other young girls out there, that were living in that manner to see the repercussions of that type of action.”

“I took a lot of flack for doing that. It’s always been a closed, behind the door topic and I put it right there on front street.”

Tami’s abortion didn’t go so smoothly. Because she was unknowingly carrying twins, there were complications after the first child was taken out. Luckily for her, she survived the ordeal after four weeks of bed rest.



Tami, now 48, has two daughters with her ex-husband Kenny Anderson. She had a miscarriage in 2015 with the child who would have been her first with her boyfriend, Reggie Youngblood. More recently, fans suspected she was pregnant again after photos revealed a slight belly bump. However, the rumors died down months later when there was no evidence of a larger bump.


What wouldn't seem to go away, though, were rumors about Tami’s unhealthy appearance. The "Bonnet Chronicles" creator had been exceptionally thin, prompting many to suspect she was ill or a crackhead. Tami shut down these talks when she revealed she was keeping her weight low due to her diabetes.

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