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Look through the 2019 Photos from When Meghan Markle Said She Felt Suicidal Working as a Royal

Olawale Ogunjimi
Mar 11, 2021
02:20 P.M.
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Meghan Markle opened up about feeling suicidal while pregnant and a working royal during her interview with Oprah Winfrey.

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Oprah Winfrey’s revealing interview with the Duke and Duchess of Sussex Prince Harry and Meghan Markle tabled lots of never-before-heard facts about the royal family.

During the interview, Markle also detailed some of her personal struggles as a working royal, including feeling suicidal while pregnant with her son, Archie.

Meghan Markle attends the Commonwealth Day Service 2020 on March 09, 2020 | Photo: Getty Images

Meghan Markle attends the Commonwealth Day Service 2020 on March 09, 2020 | Photo: Getty Images

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The duchess revealed to Winfrey that during her darkest moments as a working royal, she kept having suicidal thoughts and did not want to be alive anymore. At the peak of it all, the 39-year-old expressed her struggles to her husband.

According to her, they tried seeking help within the royal family, but they insisted they could neither offer help nor protection. They also noted that enrolling in a facility to regain her sanity would not look good for "the institution."

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Being turned down by “the institution,” a common designation to describe the royal family, Markle felt crushed. Luckily, she received massive support from the duke, who tried his best to see her through the dark moment.

Several pictures of the Duchess during her pregnancy with Archie have since made the rounds on the internet as evidence of her “dark days.” One moment which the “Suits” alum described to Winfrey involved the Sussexes’ outing to an event in January 2019.

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Following failed attempts to dissuade her from honoring the royal engagement at the Royal Albert Hall, Harry remained by his wife’s side all night, holding onto her hands firmly as a show of support.

The Sussexes implied that fears of the then-unborn child turning out too brown led the monarchy to forego bestowing him a royal title.

Prince Harry, Duke of Sussex, and Meghan Markle, Duchess of Sussex, attending the Cirque du Soleil premiere of "TOTEM" at the Royal Albert Hall on January 16, 2019 | Photo: Getty Images

Prince Harry, Duke of Sussex, and Meghan Markle, Duchess of Sussex, attending the Cirque du Soleil premiere of "TOTEM" at the Royal Albert Hall on January 16, 2019 | Photo: Getty Images

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Markle recalled one picture taken at the event, which she received from a friend earlier, where Harry gripped his knuckles tightly around hers. To the rest of the world, they appeared in the photo as a loved-up couple.

People thought they were enjoying their moment at the Cirque du Soleil premiere of “TOTEM.” However, to the Sussexes, it was a reflection of their disturbing conversation that morning about the expectant mother’s mental health.

Prince Harry, Duke of Sussex, and Meghan Markle, Duchess of Sussex, attending the Cirque du Soleil premiere of "TOTEM" at the Royal Albert Hall on January 16, 2019 in London, England | Photo: Getty Images

Prince Harry, Duke of Sussex, and Meghan Markle, Duchess of Sussex, attending the Cirque du Soleil premiere of "TOTEM" at the Royal Albert Hall on January 16, 2019 in London, England | Photo: Getty Images

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Going further, Markle recounted how she wept each time the lights went down in the royal box during the event due to her internal battles. But for the sake of honoring their royal assignments, the couple put up a show of happiness. They hid their grief behind obligatory smiles.

The Duke and Duchess’ bombshell interview with Winfrey took place over the weekend and has since stirred ripples across the globe.

Prince Harry, Duke of Sussex and Meghan Markle, Duchess of Sussex attend the Cirque du Soleil Premiere Of "TOTEM" at Royal Albert Hall on January 16, 2019 in London, England | Photo: Getty Images

Prince Harry, Duke of Sussex and Meghan Markle, Duchess of Sussex attend the Cirque du Soleil Premiere Of "TOTEM" at Royal Albert Hall on January 16, 2019 in London, England | Photo: Getty Images

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Aside from the admission of the royal family turning a blind eye during Markle’s suicidal phase, the couple made other shocking revelations.

Perhaps one of the more shocking ones was the debate about the color of Archie’s skin after his birth. The Sussexes implied that fears of the then-unborn child turning out too brown led the monarchy to forego bestowing him a royal title.

Prince Harry, Duke of Sussex, and Meghan Markle, Duchess of Sussex, attend the Cirque du Soleil premiere of "TOTEM" at the Royal Albert Hall on January 16, 2019 in London, England | Photo: Getty Images

Prince Harry, Duke of Sussex, and Meghan Markle, Duchess of Sussex, attend the Cirque du Soleil premiere of "TOTEM" at the Royal Albert Hall on January 16, 2019 in London, England | Photo: Getty Images

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This went contrary to previous assertions that the couple in fact opted to forego bestowing a title on their son after his birth. Markle also revealed she was pregnant with a baby girl, a welcome crown of happiness to a 2-hour long tension-filled moment.

The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is 1-800-273-8255. Other international suicide helplines can be found at befrienders.org.

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