Woman Refuses to Be Her Best Friend's Surrogate Because She Put Her in a Difficult Position – Story of the Day
My long-time friend asked me to be her surrogate, but it put me in an awkward position. I never imagined she would do what she did when I refused, and it changed my life.
Emma and I have known each other since we were kids. We went to the same school and became friends immediately. Even when we went to university, our bond stayed strong, especially because we discovered something strange in our early 20s.
Both Emma and I had health issues, making it difficult and risky for us to get pregnant. But that didn’t deter our dreams. Emma dreamed of being a mom, while I was always more reserved.
She met Eric in her mid-20s. They were both ready to get married and start their family. I was so happy for her, and she made me her Maid of Honor at the wedding. They started trying right away, and Emma got pregnant a few months later.
Unfortunately, she lost the baby, and it shattered her. “Emma, I can’t imagine what you’re going through. But when you’re ready, you’ll have a miracle, baby,” I comforted her while she cried on my shoulders.
“You think so, Gina? I don’t know if I could go through this pain again,” she cried.
“No! Don’t think about that. You have to be positive, and I’ll be there for you always,” I added.
Emma and her husband continued trying for years with no success. Meanwhile, I met Alex, and after dating for a year, we got married. I had to tell Emma we were going to try for a baby too.
“Alex and I are going to try for a baby soon. I hope it’s ok with you?” I told her.
“Why wouldn’t it be? Of course, Gina! You want to be a mom too. My fertility issues are not your issues. We both have health problems, though. It might not be easy. You guys have to be careful,” she encouraged me. I was relieved by her response.
A few months later, I was pregnant, and just as previous doctors had said, it was risky. They put me on bed rest at five months, but I managed to carry full-term. Emma was there for me until the birth of my son, Kennedy.
“Emma, would you like to come over and catch up? You can see Ken. He’s growing so fast,” I asked her on the phone.
“Oh…hmm…I’m so busy with work right now,” she replied.
“Please, can you come? I’m so tired of not having any other human interaction. The baby doesn’t let me sleep, and I would love to see you!” I said cheerfully, hoping she would come.
“Ugh. At least you have a baby!” she snapped angrily and hung up. I was stunned. I had no idea she was mad at me. I didn’t know what to do after that reaction, so I backed off and waited for her to reach out to me.
Meanwhile, Alex and I discussed something our doctor warned us about. He said that if we wanted to have any more children, it would have to be soon before I got older and my issues worsened. “Maybe we should start trying soon, Alex,” I told my husband.
“Don’t worry about that now, sweetheart. You have a newborn baby, and if we don’t have more kids, that’s fine by me. I wouldn’t want to risk your health further,” he replied.
“I really want another one. I don’t want Kennedy to grow up without siblings as I did,” I added.
“Ok, if that’s what you want, we’ll start trying. But we’re going to the doctor and staying in touch with him the entire process,” Alex continued. We were happy with this decision.
Emma finally called a week after the earlier phone call and apologized. She wanted to come over and talk to me about something. We sat down, and I served us tea, so we were calm.
“Listen. I know I apologized on the phone, but I want to do it again. I was out of line. It’s just…I’ve been so jealous of you since Kennedy was born. He’s so beautiful,” Emma started.
“I’m so sorry. I’ve been so busy that I couldn’t see what you were going through,” I answered.
“Well, you’re a new mom, and it’s not just that. Eric doesn’t seem to want a baby at all anymore. Not with me, at least. I don’t know what to do,” she continued. “I think he might leave me for another woman.”
“No! Emma, don’t think like that!” I exclaimed.
“I think he might be cheating already. If he gets another woman pregnant…I don’t know what I’ll do,” she started crying. “That’s why I came to talk to you. I need to have a baby. I need you to be my surrogate.”
“What?!” I asked, shocked.
“Please, Gina. You have no idea what it’s like at home. I need a baby to save my marriage. You have to help me. You can do it!” Emma urged me desperately.
“I can’t, Emma. I’m sorry. Alex and I are talking about having another child. And the doctors said I had to hurry and do it now. I don’t know if I could go through a third pregnancy,” I explained.
“Gina! You already have a child! You can’t be this selfish! I need this baby! YOU HAVE TO HELP ME! You and Alex can wait!” Emma started yelling.
“Hush! You’re going to wake Kennedy. Please, Emma, stop. I’m sorry. I can’t help you,” I answered.
“I HATE YOU! I HOPE YOU HAVE A MISCARRIAGE AND KNOW THE PAIN I WENT THROUGH!” she screamed at me and left. Her words changed everything. I didn’t get how she could wish such pain on someone else.
Still, I felt so guilty. Was my choice truly that selfish? My husband was furious when I told him what happened, and I decided to cut ties with Emma.
Alex and I had our daughter, Ellie, about two years later. It was even harder than my first pregnancy. I was in labor for hours, and it finally turned into a C-section. I bled so much that the doctors had to perform a complete hysterectomy.
After that, I realized the decision I made years ago was the right one. I wouldn’t have Ellie if I agreed to be Emma’s surrogate.
Surprisingly, when Kennedy turned six, Emma called and left a message. “Gina, I don’t hope to earn your forgiveness for my words the last time we saw each other, but I apologize regardless. What I said was horrible, and I understand that now.
“I divorced Eric because he was, in fact, cheating on me. But I got lucky. I became a foster parent, and I have finally adopted a beautiful girl. I know from your Instagram that you have a daughter now. I wanted to take that from you, and I’m sorry.
“I was the selfish one. I can’t even forgive myself for asking something so big out of you back then. Anyway, that’s what I wanted to say. I hope your family is doing amazing, and you have all the happiness in the world.”
I smiled because she sounded like the Emma who was once my best friend. I was glad for her, although I would not invite her back into my life. But I wish the best for her.
What can we learn from this story?
- Jealousy is one of the worst feelings in the world. Humans feel jealousy. It’s ok as long as you don’t let that feeling control everything else. You might lose your loved ones.
- Don’t blame others for what’s wrong in your life. You can’t blame others for what happens in your life. Emma called Gina selfish for something neither of them could control and lost her friend forever.
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