Valerie Bertinelli Was Criticized and Called 'Fat & Lazy' - At 62 She Has Finally Accepted Her Body after Hard Divorce

Valerie Bertinelli was only in fifth grade when she experienced body shaming from her educator. Her weight has fluctuated since, but after two divorces and alcohol issues, she is learning to accept her body. She now lives happily and healthily in her home.

Valerie Bertinelli is a woman of many talents. However, she began her career as an American actress, famously known for her role as Barbara Cooper Royer on the hit sitcom "One Day at a Time."

Since her starring role, Bertinelli became a homegrown kitchen professional with her own Food Network show, "Valerie's Home Cooking." She also became a book author, sharing recipes and her life story through words.

Valerie Bertinelli Experienced Body Shaming in Her Youth but Worked Hard to Be Successful in Her Field

Bertinelli, the product of a General Motors executive and a housewife, was the third of five children. She had three brothers with whom she was close as they often moved from one place to another. As a child, she felt the need to make everyone happy, which she called a "big job for a little kid."

Although naturally a shy child, Bertinelli's confidence grew as her mother signed her up for acting lessons. It didn't take long before she began landing commercials at 11, such as a J.C. Penney advertisement.

Around the same time, Bertinelli also experienced being fat-shamed by her teacher. She recalled her experience:

"I remember my fifth-grade teacher patted me on the belly and said, 'You might want to keep an eye on that. That was the first time I became really aware of my body."

Looking back at her experience, Bertinelli feels angry for her younger self. "At that age, we're so full of joy, and then to have someone slap you for nothing. For just standing there," she said.

Despite her teacher's comment, Bertinelli landed more commercial roles and a television guest role on "Apple's Way" before joining the cast of "One Day at a Time." The actress believed producer Normal Lear was looking for someone like his daughter to play the perfect American teen on the show, and fortunately, she had a resemblance.

Stepping away from her clean image, Bertinelli sometimes used drugs with her so-star, Philips. However, when she met Eddie Van Halen, she became a heavy user.

At 15, Bertinelli brought to life Barbara on the show, a teenage girl raised by a divorced mom, Anne Romano (Bonnie Franklin). The actress' on-screen sister, Julie, was played by Mackenzie Philips.

While on the show, Bertinelli was made to feel like she needed to lose a few pounds to maintain her character. She often compared herself to Philips, who she claimed had "always been thin," while she had "childbearing hips." Bertinelli turned to Black Beauties pills to lose weight but ultimately stopped due to their side effects.

The series was undoubtedly a massive success, but behind the scenes, Bertinelli went home to a typical family to live an average teenage life. Like girls her age, Bertinelli enjoyed time with her high school friends, went home to pending chores, and experienced her first heartbreak.

Valerie Bertinelli Married Guitarist Eddie Van Halen While Starring in "One Day at a Time" and Is Now Twice Divorced

By 1984, Bertinelli had completed 209 episodes of "One Day at a Time." Admittedly, she had beautiful memories from her time on the show and worked with amazing women, including her second mother, Franklin, and her sister-at-heart, Philips.

However, her life when the cameras stopped rolling differed from her on-screen personality. Stepping away from her clean image, Bertinelli sometimes used drugs with her so-star, Philips. However, when she met Eddie Van Halen, she became a heavy user.

Bertinelli met Van Halen in 1980 after her brother invited her to his concert. The actress claimed it was love at first sight when she saw him backstage, and soon after, they became inseparable.

It didn't take long before they planned to tie the knot, setting their nuptials for April 11, 1981. While very much in love, the newlywed basked in their marriage's happiness. "I love it. Best thing I've ever done," the musician said.

Admittedly, Bertinelli did not take the divorce lightly and sought comfort in some of her favorite food, including jalapeno poppers.

As the wife of a rocker, Bertinelli tried to keep up with Van Halen's rock and roll lifestyle, which ultimately meant using drugs. Unfortunately, substance use would only be a fraction of their marital problems.

Despite living under one roof, Bertinelli and Van Halen had a disconnect and were unfaithful to each other. Throughout their marriage, she found proof of his infidelities but could not entirely blame her husband as she, too, had an affair. Bertinelli said:

"I was infatuated with the drummer of this band [who] was friends of my brother. I just wanted somebody to touch me and love me. And I wasn't getting it at home. Now, that's not an excuse."

Despite their turbulent relationship, Bertinelli and Van Halen successfully raised their only son, Wolfgang. In 2001, two decades after their wedding, the couple separated with their son's best interest at heart.

The doting mom claimed she and Van Halen called it quits to give Wolfgang the best versions of themselves. Their divorce was finalized in 2007.

Admittedly, Bertinelli did not take the divorce lightly and sought comfort in some of her favorite food, including jalapeno poppers. "Those were some of the darkest days of my life, and I was eating my way through them. I became a hermit," she recalled.

Her divorce was not the sole reason for her sadness; it was also the thought of giving her son less than the life he deserved.

Bertinelli was no longer single, as she was with her second husband, Tom Vitale. After feeling an instant connection, the television star began dating the businessman in 2004.

Bertinelli's weight fluctuated again during those months, but after watching herself in the television film "Claire," she realized her weight impacted more than her appearance. Suddenly, her knees would hurt, and as a result, it affected her ability to play sports. It also affected her confidence. Bertinelli said:

"I felt the urge to run into my room and cry. The sight of myself was too much for me to tolerate."

She eventually worked to regain her fit physique and lost a whopping 40 pounds. Her memoir, "Losing It: And Gaining My Life Back One Pound at a Time," detailed her weight loss journey.

Sadly, in 2020, Wolfgang announced the passing of his father after a brave fight against cancer. In a tribute to Van Halen, Wolfgang credited him for being the best dad, who gave him wonderful memories on and off the stage.

Bertinelli revealed that she and Van Halen had reached a beautiful place during his passing. Still, she wished cancer didn't have to take him.

Bertinelli was no longer single, as she was with her second husband, Tom Vitale. After feeling an instant connection, the television star began dating the businessman in 2004. Then amidst her struggle to lose weight, Bertinelli learned to love herself because of Vitale.

The pair also shared similarities in their lives as single parents. Vitale, a father of four, admitted they were both "coming from a tough time and wanting to move on but didn't trust anyone."

It wasn't until six years later that she saw an engagement ring on her finger. On January 1, 2011, Bertinelli walked down the aisle for the second time and married Vitale. The pair lived in marital bliss for several years and often shared glimpses of their lives.

Sadly, Bertinelli's second marriage saw the same ending as her first. On November 23, 2021, she filed for legal separation from her husband, citing irreconcilable differences. In May of the following year, she revealed she was going through a rough patch as a second-time divorcee.

In 2023, Bertinelli revealed that she is healing faster through therapy, journaling, and adding humor to her life. She knows well not to take life too seriously and smiles every now and then.

Unfortunately, their divorce wasn't as smooth sailing. Vitale challenged their prenuptial agreement and asked for $50,000 monthly spousal support from his ex-wife. He also requested about $200,000 in legal fees.

Bertinelli's experience marked another trauma for the star, who claimed she was happy spending the rest of her life a single woman. She now has trust issues and can't imagine letting someone in her life with open arms.

It seemed Bertinelli wanted complete detachment from her second husband. In September 2022, she sold her wedding rings and shoes, and two months later, she closed another chapter in her life with the finalization of her divorce.

Bertinelli reflected on her life in 2020, comparing it to her on-screen character in "One Day at a Time." She said:

"I feel like Barbara would have an almost similar life to mine. She would most likely still be married to Mark, maybe with some grandkids, and maybe even her own cooking show on Food Network!"

Valerie Bertinelli Has Been Living Happily since Her Divorce and Focuses on Taking Care of Herself

Recovering from her past relationship was no easy feat, but Bertinelli successfully started her process toward happiness and contentment. Since her divorce was finalized, the actress shared snippets of her life, such as her self-care process.

Although the scale fluctuates, she is taking everything one day at a time. Bertinelli admitted she doesn't weigh herself as frequently as before as long as she knows she is internally healthy.

Although difficult, the divorce forced Bertinelli to learn more about herself and her healing. "I get to talk to my inner child more, so this wicked part of my life is actually very healing for me," she shared. Bertinelli chooses gratitude daily – the secret to her happiness and contentment.

She has settled into a comfortable home after selling her Hollywood Hills residence for $2.5 million in 2022. The 2,500-square-foot ranch-style estate boasts three bedrooms, three bathrooms, and a beautiful kitchen that had been featured in her Food Network show.

In 2023, Bertinelli revealed that she is healing faster through therapy, journaling, and adding humor to her life. She knows well not to take life too seriously and smiles every now and then.

She also let go of her alcohol intake and has been sober for a while, allowing her to reflect deeply on life. Her cleanse also did wonders for her health, allowing Bertinelli to sleep better, move faster, and improve her overall well-being, among others.

Bertinelli admitted she doesn't weigh herself as frequently as before as long as she knows she is internally healthy.

Admittedly, she used to numb her pain with food and alcohol. Now, she allows herself to feel the emotions and come to terms with her life. Bertinelli is proud to say that her healing journey was not only for her past relationship but also for her self-perception. She said:

"I have been screamed at so many times and told how fat and lazy I am. I realize that was someone just projecting on me whatever they needed to project on me."

It turned out that the hurtful words came from Valerie Bertinelli's husband, Vitale. According to the sous chef, she found messages in her ex-husband's phone where he said demeaning things about her.

Bertinelli, whose weight loss journey started at 172, went as low as weighing 125 pounds. Although the scale fluctuates, she is taking everything one day at a time. Bertinelli admitted she doesn't weigh herself as frequently as before as long as she knows she is internally healthy.

Despite growing older yearly, she has been enjoying cooking at home and feeling young. Because of her lifestyle changes, Bertinelli continues to look youthful at 62.

"I am doing my best to be positive and more full of joy," she said. "Hopefully, my body will follow along." She also inspires many like her to take care of themselves and be the best version of themselves.