Michelle Zauner's Mother's Traumatic Passing Made the Singer Reflect on Euthanasia

Musician and author Michelle Zauner lost her mother to cancer nine years ago, while her father remains estranged. Although she came from a complex family, she seems to have continuously coped with pain and loss by reconnecting to her identity.

Michelle Zauner is a celebrated Korean-American musician and the lead vocalist of the band Japanese Breakfast. Not only does Zauner excel in the music world, but she's also an award-winning author of "Crying H-Mart."

Released in 2021, "Crying H-Mart," is a memoir that delves into her biracial identity and complicated relationship with her parents, particularly with her demanding late Korean mother.

Michelle Zauner's Mom Was a Tough Woman

Michelle Zauner spoke about her Korean mother, opening up about their relationship, and described her personality:

"She had this blunt honesty that felt exquisitely cruel at times. She was overbearing and critical. I never witnessed my friends enduring that type of thing."

Zauner noted that her husband's mom had more of a nurturing personality, while her own mom would often blame her for any problems she faced. Her mom would scream at her if she got hurt instead of picking her up.

While she saw her mom's unpleasant attitude as irritating as a child, Zauner now sees value in the tough love approach, encouraging her to reflect critically on herself. She also understood that frustrated parents have "misplaced anger."

Zauner is also estranged from her dad. Despite their lack of communication, Zauner remained curious about her father's situation. Using a fake Instagram account, she discovered her dad was engaged to a young Indonesian woman.

Her father had undergone a complete transformation after her mother's passing. He relocated to Thailand and immersed himself in scuba diving and underwater photography.

Zauner noted that his dad even proposed to a Burmese woman in her mid-30s, though the engagement didn't last. He had notably changed his fashion sense, including tattoos and piercings.

Michelle Zauner's Mom Died of Cancer in 2014

Michelle Zauner endured a challenging journey when she lost her mother nine years ago. She recalled that her mom was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer in 2014, tragically claiming her life.

After her mom's passing, Zauner found solace in cooking Korean dishes—her comfort food.

The traumatic experience of losing her mom led Zauner to contemplate life and death. She refused to invest in long-term savings like an individual retirement account or IRA, stating that she doesn't foresee herself living past 60.

The Asian-American author also mentioned that if she were to face a similar stage four cancer diagnosis, she would not undergo treatment, believing it would be a waste of time. Zauner said:

"It's not worth it to me. And it's not worth it for me to put my loved ones through. Hopefully, it doesn't happen, but if it does, I would just euthanize myself, basically."

After her mom's passing, Zauner found solace in cooking Korean dishes—her comfort food. Turning to this culinary practice became her way of coping with grief and maintaining a strong connection to her Korean identity.

She immersed herself in YouTube cooking videos and carefully selected ingredients from the Korean grocery store H-Mart to recreate traditional dishes and find solace. She cooked dishes like kimchi stew, dumplings, and seaweed soup.

Michelle Zauner Wants to Be an Accepting Mom Someday

Michelle Zauner contemplated how she could become a better parent without placing undue pressure on her future children when she decided to have her own family. She said that certain aspects of her parenting might stem from her mom's parenting style.

Zauner has observed moments where she exhibits behaviors similar to those of her late mother, such as consistently reminding her husband to apply sunscreen because he tends to get sunburned easily.

Despite displaying impatient behavior towards her own husband, Zauner hopes to develop self-awareness and avoid being overly demanding as a parent.

Unlike her mother, who was unsupportive of her creative career, Zauner wants to be more open, accepting, and encouraging when she becomes a parent.

Zauner is among many celebrities today who have opened up about family complexities. Like her, notable stars open to this topic are Britney Spears, Elliot Page, Drew Barrymore, Rina Sawayama, Jennifer Aniston, and Meghan Markle.