'It's Rare': Bette Midler Proposed to Husband after 6 Weeks & They Made It to 38 Years despite Hardships
Award-winning entertainer Bette Midler wears many hats on her head, but one of the most admirable is her love for her long-time spouse. Before beginning their journey to forever, Midler proposed to him only after six weeks. Today, despite all the hardships, they are one of the industry's power couples.
Bette Midler is the epitome of timeless beauty, brains, talents, and above all, an inspiration to the younger generation.
She is successful career-wise and in her private life. But all this would not have been possible if she had not fought through challenges nearly clawing down her future.
Bette Midler and Sophie Von Haselberg attend Bette Midler's Hulaween To Benefit NY Restoration Project at New York Midtown Hilton on October 31, 2019 in New York City. | Source: Getty Images
Bette was not born with a silver spoon. Her parents, Fred, a painter, and Ruth, a housewife, lived in Hawaii, where she was raised. She was of Jewish descent and the youngest of three daughters.
The actress recalled growing up as the only Caucasian in her school in Honolulu, and the neighborhood was challenging. She felt like a misfit and was treated harshly by other kids who were Hawaiians, Samoans, and Filipinos.
Without mincing words, Midler mentioned that she "hated" being treated as an outcast and would never forget such an experience. She maintained that the kids were "cruel."
Back at home, she had a mother who was a traditional housewife. Bette described her mother as being "totally house-bound."
Although she would have loved to have a job and mingle with others, but could not be a part of that scenario, her life revolved around the house and kids.
Life for the family was not any easier. They were poor and had to handle their four kids alone, dedicating time and effort to nurture them. Midler had a sibling with special needs; her parents cared for him at home due to a lack of funds. While relaying her childhood, the actress praised her mother for her commitment to the family. She admitted:
"We were really poor…My brother was mentally handicapped and they raised him at home. They succeeded, but they sacrificed their entire life for it. When you have that example, you never really forget."
Although Bette recognized her parents' sacrifices, those who supported her did not live long enough to enjoy her wins. It appeared that whenever she hit a milestone, she always lost someone dear.
Bette left home for New York to advance her career on Broadway; while she performed on "Fiddler on the Roof," one of her sisters, Judy, scheduled a visit to her. But she never made it. Instead, Judy was killed in a shocking accident.
Unfortunately, her mother and father followed a few years later. At some point in her life, she strained relationships with them. Her mother fancied her acting career, while her dad was distant.
Fred was hesitant to see his blunt-mouthed daughter on stage. On the other hand, his wife, Ruth, would have been excited to celebrate the success of their daughter's first film, but sadly, she died of cancer.
When Bette grew older and became pregnant, she decided to mend the tense relationship with her dad. However, shortly after another film became a hit, the family's patriarch passed away, and the responsibility of looking after her special needs brother fell on her.
Despite the struggles of caring for him, her parents never considered giving him up. The social health workers interfered and wanted to put him away, but they argued and fought to retain their son.
Amid focusing on building a promising career, she was expected to look after her brother following her parents' death. Yet, somehow, Bette determinedly thrived in both the music and movie industries.
Bette Midler Had Her Own Family
Although Bette's childhood was rocked by cruel bullies, as she advanced, she witnessed the deaths of her loved ones, but that did not deter her from writing her own story and creating happiness.
Like Bette, her mini-me is an extraordinary woman with fantastic talents. She has a passion for acting, a great sense of humor, and knows the history behind her literature.
Bette Midler and Husband Martin von Haselberg at Swifty Lazar Oscar Party in Hollywood, California, United States. | Source: Getty Images
In 1984, at age 39, Bette eloped with her lover, Martin von Haselberg, to get married. They had known each other for six weeks, and she felt he was Mr. Right, so the actress did something rare, she proposed!
The duo planned their private ceremony that same year, and they were married in Starlight Chapel, Las Vegas, in front of an Elvis Presley impersonator.
Sophie von Haselberg, Martin von Haselberg and Bette Midler in 1989. | Source: Getty Images
What followed was nothing close to a blissful marriage. Instead, they fought often. But two years later, after welcoming their daughter, Sophie, the couple decided to stick together and work out their differences. Bette recalled:
"We came to the conclusion that we wanted to raise a child. We never wanted to hurt that kid in any way. So we stayed together until it got better and it did."
Apart from making the unanimous decision to prioritize Sophie, they consciously worked to make a happy home. Martin retired from his job to support his wife in raising their child.
On the other hand, Bette prepared her mind to become a wife and a mother. In a funny tone, she declared, "I've sown all my wild oats…I'm prepared to settle down and be a mom."
Today, the couple, who were at loggerheads at the beginning of their marriage, now have an inspirational story. Bette confessed that her daughter was her most significant achievement ever.
The actress credited her husband for being the "greatest father who ever lived." According to Bette, he stepped in whenever she was away and taught their daughter a foreign language and other life values.
Interestingly, Bette's marriage has lasted for thirty-eight years. They have remained inseparable through the storms, the good, and the lesson.
According to this rare Hollywood couple, their secret to a successful marriage has been their ability to make efforts to listen and compromise.
Bette and Martin's Daughter
As a child, Sophie was blessed with a good life. She attended prestigious schools, spent time abroad, and became a smart lady. But, despite her vast knowledge of the world, she is following in her mother's footsteps.
Honoree Bette Midler and daughter Sophie Von Haselberg at the 44th Kennedy Center Honors at The Kennedy Center on December 05, 2021 in Washington, DC. | Source: Getty Images
Like Bette, her mini-me is an extraordinary woman with fantastic talents. She has a passion for acting, a great sense of humor, and knows the history behind her literature.
Mother and daughter are also best friends for life. The women share the same talent, passion, and likes. When Sophie decided to settle down, she planned an intimate wedding with her family, each person having a role to play.
Her mom took care of the bouquet while her father sorted the menu. Two best friends who made it to the guest list officiated the ceremony. It was nothing like a traditional wedding, as Sophie opted for a colorful sleeveless dress and minimal makeup.
Today, through the sacrifices and commitment, Bette is confident that she is living her best life, especially since she has a loving husband, a caring daughter, and a career that has spanned over five decades!