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Susan Downey | Source: Getty Images
Susan Downey | Source: Getty Images

This Woman Is Married 18 Years to Actor She Initially Rejected & Who Brought Packets of Oatmeal to Their ‘1st Date’

Vanessa Seifert
Nov 07, 2023
11:05 A.M.
  • This woman did not think the man who came to lunch with his own oatmeal packets would become her husband.
  • At first, she thought he was strange and turned him down three times.
  • They've been married for 18 years, share two children, and they make movies together.
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Sometimes, couples are not always on the same page regarding their first dates, which was the case for this couple. To the woman who worked as a producer, going out for dinner with colleagues was just as casual as it sounds, but for the man, who already had his eyes on her, the dinner counted as their first date.

The couple in France in 2005 | Source: Getty Images

The couple in France in 2005 | Source: Getty Images

Interestingly, the actor asked the producer out three times before she agreed to go out with him. There could have been many reasons behind her reluctance; for instance, on their first encounter, the woman thought the actor was strange.

While they were having lunch in Montreal with other actors like Halle Berry, everyone was having Japanese, while this actor brought out packets of oatmeal and raved about how much of a "superfood" it was.

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The couple in France in 2005 | Source: Getty Images

The couple in France in 2005 | Source: Getty Images

In addition to the weird conversation about oatmeal, the actor also brought out a variety of herbs and started doing yoga poses. "I mean, he was interesting but weird," the producer thought.

As they looked back at the beginning of their relationship, the producer did not see that lunch with colleagues as their first date because she was still producing the movie they were working on, so she felt they were on different pages. However, he had convinced himself that the encounter was their first date, despite how strange he might have seemed.

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The actor was Robert Downey Jr., and the woman was Susan Downey. When he finally got her to go out with him, their relationship started moving fast. Within three months, the "The Judge" actor proposed to Susan, but she accepted the proposal on a few conditions.

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Susan asked for a long engagement of about two years, and if Robert really wanted to be with her, he would give up all drugs. Should he fail to do so, then she would leave. The mother of two had never dealt with addiction. ​​"I was incredibly ignorant of its hold on people," she confessed.

But Robert appreciated that his wife did not know much about addiction because he believed if she knew the severity of his addiction, they wouldn't have the life they have now. In one interview, the "Sherlock Holmes" actor spoke about how Susan helped him deal with his addiction.

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When asked if he credited her for saving his life, he clarified that he needed to deal with his hardships on his own, and his wife gave him the space to get out of his addiction on his own conditions.

What he appreciated the most was the different kind of validation that Susan extended to him. Robert said his wife was the only person who did not try to coddle him and treat him like he was special, whether that was on set or while he was going through the emotions that came with his sobriety journey.

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The couple eventually married in 2005 in a Jewish ceremony in the Hamptons, one of Robert's favorite summer spots. Since then, the only drug that the actor is taking is nicotine gums, which still drives his wife crazy. Susan hates that he leaves the gum wrappers all over the house, but she has learned to adjust. However, that was not the only change the producer noticed in herself.

She confessed that before meeting Robert, she was very career-driven and did not think about kids. "I didn't care about having a family or making a home. I didn't think about kids. It's not that I didn't want those things; I just didn't think about them," she candidly confessed.

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The couple has welcomed two children together: a son, Exton Downey, who arrived in 2010, and a daughter, Avri Downey, in 2015. Robert also has a son, Indio Downey, from his first marriage. Now that Susan is a mother of two, she credits her husband for bringing the kind of creativity and passion that opened her up to a new life.

Robert and Susan celebrated 18 years of marriage, and for them to get that far, they had to have a few ground rules to make sure their union was always nurtured.

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The couple met on the set of Gothika, which was Robert's first serious gig since he was incarcerated. But their love story started while doing what they loved, and they both knew how busy the industry can get, so they came up with a two-week rule.

This meant the couple could not go two weeks without seeing each other. Even when they were miles apart, they ensured to find a way to be with each other on their different movie sets. However, their jobs have also given them opportunities to team up.

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For instance, Robert brought on his wife as a producer on "Iron Man 2." They also worked together on "Due Date." Soon, the couple realized they loved spending time together and decided to not only lead a family together but make movies together.

In 2010, they started their own production company, Team Downey, which turned their two-week rule into a one-week rule. The reason behind their company was simple: Susan and Robert already worked well together as a couple, so making movies together was the cherry on top.

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This meant the two planned to keep most of their upcoming jobs within the family business, including the third "Sherlock Holmes" movie. Looking at how much the couple loves being together, their secret to a long-lasting marriage is to enjoy each other.

According to Susan, when you have fun together, it makes it easier to get over the bumps. We also got to see the funny side of the couple when Robert accepted his award at the Golden Globes. He joked that his wife believed Matt Damon was going to win.

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He continued his comedic speech by crediting his wife for his skyrocketing career and thanked everyone else who worked hard to make "Sherlock Holmes" the great film that it was.

In an interview after the awards show, Susa Downey explained that her husband was too confident that he would win, and from where she was sitting, it looked like the predictions were more on Matt's side. She thought to manage Robert Downey's expectations by telling him Matt would win. Fortunately, Robert took the award home.

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