Dad of Baby with Cleft Lip Hears Friend Say Such Children Should Be Aborted & Refuses to Keep Silent

A filmmaker from Texas was shocked when his friend suggested he should understand why a parent would want to abort a baby like his. Matt believes his son and any children like him should have the opportunity to live.

On April 26, 2018, Matt Martin and his wife, Sara Martin, welcomed two bouncing baby boys via C-section. However, while one child was born without complications, his brother had a facial issue.

Matt recalled that when Jack Carson was born, he told his wife the child was perfect. Yet when he saw Cam Dawson, he knew something was wrong with the baby and couldn't discern exactly what it was.

Sara's doctor asked the nurse to call the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU), and when Sara asked Matt what was wrong, he admitted that he wasn't sure. He let his wife's hand go and walked over to his sons. He could see Jack, swaddled and comfortable, but could not get to Cam as doctors surrounded him.

At this point, a nurse moved Matt over to Jack and told him that his son weighed eight pounds and was healthy. Matt bent to kiss Jack and then asked the nurse what was happening with his other son.

The nurse did not answer Matt and instead whispered to the other nurses, who eventually turned and told Matt that Cam would be okay. Matt admitted:

"It was a shock. I didn't know what I was looking at. There was clearly something wrong on his face, but I had never seen something like that before. Nobody said anything. The nurse put him in my arms. He cried and cried, and all I wanted to do was help him. I have never in my life felt so helpless."

The NICU team then came in and took Cam away from his father. Sara, who did not even get to hold her son before he was taken away for treatment, asked Matt if their baby was okay. Unable to answer fully, Matt shook his head.

Only after their son had been taken to the NICU did doctors explain the situation. They told the new parents that Cam had a bilateral cleft lip and palate. The tiny tot had to be under the doctor's intensive scrutiny to ensure he could eat.

Two days later, doctors were satisfied with the amount he was eating, and he was allowed to join his parents and brother in their hospital room.

Matt and Sara filled their days with joy at the fact that they had welcomed two little boys into their family, but they were also overwhelmed and confused about what Cam's life would be like.

Shortly after Matt and Sara went home with their sons, they had an appointment with a plastic surgeon, who fitted a Nasoalveolar Molding (NAM) device that prepared Cam's body for a grueling surgery at four months old. The surgery would be a soft lip repair and would take five hours.

At eighteen months, Cam would have his lip fixed, and at four years, he would have a bone graft done to turn his top gums into one solid piece.

Matt admitted that everything they had to do with and for Cam's lip and palate was hard, but only because they didn't want their son to go through something as brutal as this so early on.

Not Everyone Supported Matt and Sara

Matt and Sara were not alone in their journey. Matt revealed that doctors, friends, and family apologized to them in the days following their son's diagnosis. And while the pair received love and support from many corners, not everyone shared the same sentiments. One of Matt's friends told him something that would end their friendship for good.

Matt revealed that he had been added to a group text with two friends, one he had met in college and one he had met at work. He admitted the strange dynamic between them, but they talked pretty often.

In the group chat, the three men began talking about politics, and because none of them shared the same view on politics, their conversation quickly became heated. When the topic of abortion came up, Matt suggested to the other men that they were getting into a tight spot on the subject.

Matt knew babies with cleft lips were being aborted three times as much in America and even more in other countries due to genetic testing. The response he received to that message was not at all what he expected. Matt shared:

"My 'friend' said, 'Come on, of all people, you should get why someone would want to abort a cleft baby.'"

The proud father was shocked by this suggestion. Matt wondered why anyone would think babies like his son shouldn't have the opportunity to live. He ended his friendship with the man but said it compelled him to share his son's story and shed some light on clefts.

Matt wants to share Cam's story so that if a mother and father go to a sonogram and doctors say their baby has a cleft, they won't think their world is crumbling around them. Instead, he wants parents to know their babies will be happy and healthy, albeit slightly different.

Matt and Sara Love Their Sons Unconditionally

Days before Cam's first surgery, Matt admitted that he and Sara thought about not going through with it. They had fallen in love with him as he was and didn't want to think about him not looking the same or being able to see his "beautiful smile" as it was with the cleft.

Despite their fears, they let their son undergo the procedure. Matt confessed that the days following were difficult because their son was so young and in so much pain, which they could not help with.

Matt shared that despite the pain and the arduous journey through the surgery, Cam healed quickly and has a beautiful personality. He mused:

"Do I wish he didn't have to go through all of this? Of course. But do I wish we never had him? A million times, no. This baby has changed me in so many ways. He really has changed my life."

Cam is loved unconditionally by his parents and brother. Matt and Sara often share photos of their sons on social media, talking about how proud they are and how much they love each of their sons. Matt also says that as much as they love Cam, he loves everyone else.

Parents worldwide are often faced with difficult decisions regarding their children. One strong mother recently shared her daughter's Down syndrome story with AmoMama. Read the full article here.